h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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Bedcase
Books under the bed, or bed behind the books | |
At first glance, the bedroom is largely empty, but for a large oak bookcase, standing against the wall. At the touch of a button, its doors close, and it slowly leans forward until it lies face-down on the carpet. Equally slowly, the back opens, each of two doors folding up and over and down the sides
to reveal a double bed, complete with duvet.
The act of transitioning between horizontal and vertical states ensures that every book is neatly aligned with its neighbours, sitting at the front of the shelves. When closed, the doors on the rear maintain enough compression to keep the duvet more or less in position; the head end of the bed is the bottom when it stands upright, so gravity keeps the pillows in place.
Optional sensor pack ensures that it doesn't operate when occupied, preventing Fido suffocating Tiddles by "accidentally" stepping on the remote on a sunny afternoon.
And yes, you do need to think ahead if you want to read in bed.
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Annotation:
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could you read that to me again? |
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[+], apart from the bit where the cat doesn't die ... |
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So, it's a hide-a-bed (WKTE) concealed by a trick bookcase
(also WKTE)... |
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I'm reasonably certain this one's already been baked. |
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One of my uncles (no idea which one - I seem to
have an implausibly large number) got a very
trendy architect to remodel the part of the
northeast wing that we let her stay in. The
remodelling included a huge number of trompe-
d'oeils, and an entire foldaway bedroom with
ensuite bathroom and sauna concealed behind a
large Pollock. |
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Unfortunately, the architect was killed in a tragic
macramé accident* immediately after completing
the work and, as a result, my uncle was never able
to find the bedroom. |
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*(it may have been bondage, but macramé
seemed the kinder explanation) |
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Was that the, er, individual who wanted the
colour scheme to be Fifty Shades of Grey? |
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In which case, yes, macrame is definitely the
more socially acceptable explanation. PVC-
coated cable is an unusual choice of
material, but benefit of the doubt and all
that. |
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Too much Jackson Pollock can do that to a man. |
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In the end, it's just a matter of joining the
dots. |
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//individual who wanted the colour scheme to be
Fifty Shades of Grey? // Would that she had had
such taste. There are some inexplicable genes in
the distaff side of the Buchanan line. |
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Fabulous. Do you think this will work with my water bed? |
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//concealed behind a large Pollock// Shirly several
paintings would be needed - in fact, this sounds like
a load of Pollocks. |
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Give the lad some encouragement. Go on. Bun him. |
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This is an original idea because 70's porno music doesn't play at the same time. |
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In that case, mine must be the later model. |
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This is all very well but as you explained at the beginning of your idea, it looks like a large empty room with a book case, which is how it will remain. Believe me, if you have a wife like mine with an obsessive compulsive disorder for filling empty spaces with clutter, it will really piss you off trying to create enough space for a bed each night. |
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A giant hydraulic ram propels a bulldozer blade across the floor prior to deployment of the bed. Depending on the size of the room, a section of the floor may need to hinge open to receive the clutter. |
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