h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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Ever wake up with an itchy back, or leg ?
If
you are alone you are faced with
contorting yourself in order to effect a
good scratching, risking a nasty cramp.
Then there is also the possible
frustration of
ineffective, half-bitten finger nails to
consider. A
sleeping partner seldom
welcomes the
prospect of being wakened for this
purpose "Can I have a wee scratch....
pleeeeease???" GRRRRRR!!!!!!
Enter the Bed of Finger-Nails. This is a
device that resembles a stranded
millipede, its legs waving frantically in
the
air as it tries to right itself. Now imagine
those legs have been made to look and
act
like human fingers, with well honed nails
(that can be manicured and painted up in
any colour) There is a choice of finger
types from the delicate pianist to the
grubby mechanic, and a control knob for
speed and movement amplitude.
You simply stretch out the Bed of Finger-
Nails on your mattress and the next time
you have a nocturnal itch, roll the
affected part of
your anatomy unto the extended fingers,
and activate it to receive the blissful
relief
of its harmonic scratching frenzy.
[link]
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+ I'll take one in 'lead guitarist' format. |
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"I'll be ready in a few weeks, Darling, I'm just painting my nails." |
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Just serve your partner toast in bed. The next night, the bed might as well be full of fingernails. |
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Btw, you might want to spray your bed with some heavy duty insecticide - it sounds like you've got bedbugs. |
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"Honey, where did you get all these fingernail scratches?!" |
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"Huh, would you believe my bed of fingernails got too excited last night?" |
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