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There is nothing in this world I hate more than when my sheets get stretched out and then get all loose and wrinkled. This is a particular issue when using flannel sheets in the winter.
This device it comprised of a plate that rests between the box spring(if equipped) and the mattress. A series
of flat grippers around the perimeter will grip the edges of the fitted sheet. The device is programed to maintain a minimum level of tension on the sheet at all times through the use of a set of linear actuators and strain gauges. Users program their preferred level of tension and the system will maintain it.
Weight shift from people getting on and off the bed and moving in bed is used to generate power for the unit so no cords need be connected.
Other functions include load and unload of sheet so that all that is required is to place the edge of the sheet in the gripper, no more stretching and pulling to get the sheet around the mattress.
(?) Sheet Suspenders
http://www.sitincomfort.com/shsu.html
Economy version bedsheet tensioner. [jurist, Nov 27 2006]
[link]
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[jurist] Ive tried those and others and none of them works really well, thats why I thought i would try a more automated solution. |
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"The conversation isn't great but there's electricity in the bedroom..." |
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"Sheets ... too ... tight!!! ... can't ... breathe ...eurgh..." |
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well [hippo] this device only tensions the bottom sheet so that would be kind of hard to do. |
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Hmmm, I wonder what sparked this idea.... |
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another good reason not to make the bed. |
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//well [hippo] this device only tensions the bottom sheet so that would be kind of hard to do.// |
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Ahh, but if the victim is tied to the mattress... |
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"You amuse me, Mr. Bond, but I cannot allow you to live. My fiendishly clever plan to secretly gain control of the world mattress industry, so I can kill both the president of the US and the British Prime Minister by filling their mattresses with radioactive matter, must be kept secret at all costs. |
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"That is why I instructed my agent Clara to seduce you and tie you to this bed. Oh yes, I have heard all about your flair with the ladies, Mr. Bond - but in the hands of my Clara, that very trait has become your downfall. For in a few minutes from now, the Bed Sheet Tensioner will activate... tightening the sheet above you... tightening it until you can no longer breathe! |
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"After your many successes in bed, it is ironic, is it not, Mr. Bond, that you should meet your end in this manner - your lungs crushed by my Bed Sheet Tensioner of Doom!" |
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"Umm, Boss? We couldn't afford the Bed Sheet Tensioner of Doom. We had to go with the Bed Sheet Tensioner of Snugablity."
"What?! Why doesn't anyone tell me these things before I use them? What's Bond doing?"
"I think he's sleeping, sir."
Bond: "Zzzzzz <snort> zzzzz..." |
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What are we going to do with all those Blindfolded Sheet Tensioning Elves? These guys show real committment by tensing the sheets all night despite all the things that go on. |
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Their committment is boundless; some are even eunuchs; most important for the peace of mind of bed users. |
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They must have given up on my house, my sheets never work. I wonder if my dog chased them away. |
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