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Beard-watchers handbook

The fully illustrated beard-watchers handbook
  (+16, -4)(+16, -4)
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This is a handbook for bird-watchers urban counterparts. It has colour photographs, species description and information on habits and where they can regularly be seen in their natural environment. As well as information on species thought to be extinct. Take it out with you next time you're out and about trying to bag that illusive orange throated moustacheless cheekbeard.
Gulherme, Oct 20 2005

A good start? http://images.googl...&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=
[Amos Kito, Oct 24 2005]

World Beard Championships http://worldbeardchampionships.com/
Some of the more exotic specimens. [wagster, Oct 24 2005]

The Art of Growing a Beard http://www.amazon.c...wirth/dp/0064650464
From the 1970's, heyday of facial hirsuitity [csea, Sep 08 2009]


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Annotation:







       the last breeding pair died in the early 1900s but there have been sightings on and off in isolated pockets of farmland over the last 100 years however, and some think it may be still out there somewhere.
Gulherme, Oct 20 2005
  

       hmm, beard watching not popular at the half bakery?
Gulherme, Oct 21 2005
  

       No negative votes so far. Sometimes it's better to leave an idea with no negative votes than to risk a mediocre idea garnering fishbones in a quest for fresh buns.
hidden truths, Oct 21 2005
  

       I wont loose any sleep over it
Gulherme, Oct 22 2005
  

       Funny, and could easily be made into one of those comedy mini-books that sit on the checkout counter in bookshops.
wagster, Oct 22 2005
  

       that nobody ever buys
benfrost, Oct 22 2005
  

       Hey look if your sporting a bit of facial growth and you think a book like this dehumanizes you don't get all bitter about it, make your own "coldchin- watchers guide" or something. I did realise at the time of posting that the proportion of halfbakers with beards is probably higher than that of the general public but hey easy come easy go, beard watching is a serious passtime to so no novelty checkout positions for the beard-watchers handbook.
Gulherme, Oct 23 2005
  

       It could be a companion volume to the various Mullet-spotting guides. Essential would be a description of sideburn taxonomy.
tourist, Oct 23 2005
  

       This may be hard to believe, but it's baked. I'll try to find it on amazon.
(Later) I think it's "The Compleat [sic] Beard Book" by William Titus, published 1971, but it's out of print. Whatever it is, i've seen it and it's basically a spotter's guide to beards with various example pictures and descriptions of the social history of the different styles, very close to what you describe.
nineteenthly, Oct 23 2005
  

       Doesn't surprise me in the least. Someone had to do it.
wagster, Oct 23 2005
  

       Wow 1971 was a great year for beards, I guess this would be a sort of revised eddition then, many things have changed in the world of beards since 1971, many of the species that were seen in great numbers back then have gone into decline and a few are now thought to be extinct.
Gulherme, Oct 24 2005
  

       Rural Germany is a beard-watchers paradise, many species have been left in isolated pockets for hundreds of years and evolved into many bizzare and interesting shapes.
Gulherme, Oct 24 2005
  

       <flashback to 1975 - a small town in the tropical north of Australia>   

       Headmaster, very animated: "Flaminicus! (although that was not then my name) I *distinctly* remember telling you to shave off that beard."   

       A young [CF]: "What beard.. (insolent pause).. ,Sir?"   

       H, v v v animated: "That fur on your cheeks and chin, boy."   

       [CF]: "No, no. You said sideburns were OK, Sir. Notice that I have shaved a one eighth inch strip from the middle of my bottom lip, down my chin and down the neck. It's just two big sideburns now Sir, not a beard."   

       You can guess the rest - those were the days of bamboo canes and big headmasters who were not averse to using them with great vigour.....
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 24 2005
  

       Presumably then, that style of facial hair could be named a Flaminicus.
nineteenthly, Oct 24 2005
  

       A more descriptive name might be "Flemish Chops" or simply "The Belgian" - Belgians having a very intense love affair with the fluffy sideburns/chops.
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 25 2005
  

       For some reason, I was looking up "taxonomy" on the HB, and ran across this, and was reminded of a book my dad had in the '70s. [link]   

       He wore some form of beard since my childhood in the 50's, and I have have worn a variety since about 1973 to the present day (except for a few months in 1983 when I avoided looking hairy in pursuit of a mortgage loan.)
csea, Sep 08 2009
  

       //that illusive orange throated moustacheless cheekbeard.//   

       //the last breeding pair died in the early 1900s//   

       <Shudder>
Twizz, Sep 10 2009
  


 

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