h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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The subtitle explains the idea.
You pay some money to have a porridge shower in a nice cubicle, then allow Battersea's rescued stray dogs to lick it all off.
This process has several benefits: the Dog's Home raises some always needed cash; you get licked clean by dogs; the dogs have a feast of
lovely porridge. What's not to like?
For the home pet dog owner, there is a more modest version that you can install in your own private bathroom.
Porridge Applicator
https://metrouk2.fi...015/04/wallace2.gif
Patent pending [TomP, Nov 05 2017]
[link]
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Well, at least it's not in other: general |
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Will I sign you up for a shower and dog licking? |
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Related prior art to be found in the [link]. |
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I hardly call that cannon a shower. I'll book you in at
Battersea for a special introductory rate. You can join
normzone and scrub his back. |
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// What's not to like? // |
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Well, porridge would be the primary thing ... |
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Knowing the poster of the idea, it will no doubt be
environmentally-friendly hand-knitted macrobiotic organic
feminist sugar-free vegan porridge , completely devoid of the five
major food groups (bacon, fried bread, salt, sugar, and burnt
crunchy bits) |
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So no, no thankyou. You can take your porridge and put it where
the sun does not shine. |
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It's the poor dogs we feel sorry for ... |
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You're just jealous of TomP. I can arrange for cats to “pee
off”
your coating of porridge instead of the usual dog licking.
How's that for special treatment? |
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You probably have a bacon flavoured back, so the dogs will
love cleaning you. I've added your name to the porridge
shower list. |
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Just wear some togs,
for situations like these
surrounded by dogs
you might get fleas.
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Why, of all the dogs' homes, is it only Battersea that gets the attention? |
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Instead of a shower of porridge, a sea of batter? |
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Only in Bexhill-on-sea .... |
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// I can arrange for cats to “pee off” your coating of porridge // |
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Ooooh, yes, PLEASE ... that would be just wonderful. We will wear our special caesium-coated reactive armour.... <gleeful sniggering> |
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We will want to video it from multiple angles, so that afterwards we can relive the delight of watching burning, shredded, dismembered cats being hurled great distances on ballistic trajectories. |
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Would not a simple HT lead achieve the desired result, with marginally less damage to the furniture? |
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I’m certain the superheated steam driven porridge will
suffice - think Boil In The Bag with inedible contents. |
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I hate to quibble*, but I am fairly certain you can't superheat porridge. |
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Superheating depends on the metastability of a liquid above its normal boiling point, which can only be sustained if there is a lack of nucleation points for vapour formation. Porridge is well-known for having multiple nucleation points (also known as "the porridge"). Therefore, superheated porridge is not, alas, possible. |
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It could be heated in a pressure vessel. If it were contained at 10
Bar and raised to just below its boiling point, on release through
a nozzle the water would instantly flash to steam. However, this
would probably convert the porridge back to a dessicated
powder, which would then fall as a sort of unpleasantly healthy
greyish oaty snow. |
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An application for this phenomenon is not immediately obvious,
but seems worthy of further detailed investigation and
experimentation. |
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I continue to wonder why dogs enjoy showering in porridge. |
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[8th]'s idea is very similar to the method of manufacture of rice crispies and other expanded/puffed breakfast cereals. They are steamed in a pressure cooker which is then rapidly decompressed (lift the lid), causing the moisture within each grain of cereal to turn into steam. |
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//I am fairly certain you can't superheat porridge// Now that 8th of 7 has offered himself, the opportunity is too good to miss. I'm confident that porridge can be heated under pressure to any temperature above 100C. This will be a great test of his "special caesium-coated reactive armour". The cats can lap up his liquified remains once they cool down and the lumpy bits have been sieved out. |
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