Ban this!

Pakistan telecom is planning to ban 1600 dirty words. I had a look at the list because Pakistan has done us a great public service by creating this compilation. Thank you to the officials who worked *harder* than ever before.
Now we can finally have some fun. It's a game. Create legitimate, non-dirtly looking text message that gives you the highest ban points. Please provide clean context to prove that it's clean. Here is how you calculate your score. Score = Number of banned words in a sentence (without dipping below 33% banned to total ratio)

I'll go first:
stopped on *red light*, when he tried to *snatch* my *deposit* book and *kmart* *jugs*. *Jugs* spilled, creating a *wet spot*
(context: "describing what happened on my way to run some errands. I did some shopping and was just about to head to the bank", score = 7, ratio = 7/20 = 35%)

I'm SURE you'll beat my high score.

Little detail. Phrases count as 1 word even though they may consist of multiple words.

Pakistani players: You can also play this game on your cell phones over SMS. Just be to sure to prepend each blocked word by "shit". (ex. stopped on shitred light at shitkmart, when he tried to shitsnatch my shitdeposit book and shitjugs) .. system only catches perfect matches, so you'll be fine. I'm actually jealous of you because if there is ever a dispute whether a particular word is truly blocked, you can just send it to the automated referee system. If it gets blocked on the way - it's fair game. Everyone else has to use the official word list instead ... which is a huge hassle.