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Pakistan telecom is planning to ban 1600 dirty words. I
had a look at the list because Pakistan has done us a
great
public service by creating this compilation. Thank you to
the officials who worked *harder* than ever before.
Now we can finally have some fun. It's a game. Create
legitimate,
non-dirtly looking text message that gives
you
the highest ban points. Please provide clean context to
prove that it's clean. Here is how you calculate your
score.
Score = Number of banned words in a sentence (without
dipping below 33% banned to total ratio)
I'll go first:
stopped on *red light*, when
he tried to
*snatch* my *deposit* book and *kmart* *jugs*. *Jugs*
spilled, creating a *wet spot*
(context:
"describing what happened on my way to run some
errands. I did some shopping and was just about to
head to the bank", score = 7, ratio = 7/20 = 35%)
I'm SURE you'll beat my high score.
Little detail. Phrases count as 1 word even though they
may consist of multiple words.
Pakistani players: You can also play this game on your
cell
phones over SMS. Just be to sure to prepend each
blocked word by "shit". (ex. stopped on shitred light at
shitkmart, when he tried to shitsnatch my shitdeposit
book and shitjugs) .. system only catches perfect
matches, so you'll be fine. I'm actually jealous of you
because if there is ever a dispute whether a particular
word is truly blocked, you can just send it to the
automated referee system. If it gets blocked on the way
- it's fair game. Everyone else has to use the official
word list instead ... which is a huge hassle.
Official word list
https://docs.google...NjZk&hl=en_GB&pli=1
If it's not on the list, it's not banned (assume space before and after a match .. no sub-string matches allowed) [ixnaum, Nov 20 2011]
Background article
http://www.pcmag.co...2817,2396659,00.asp
[ixnaum, Nov 20 2011]
Almost (but not quite) as stupid as this
http://www.dumblaws.com/
This is an idea for a funny game, making fun of another culture. It's also an invitation to take the piss, not piss on, other cultures. [zeno, Nov 21 2011]
For some reason this idea reminds me of an XKCD cartoon
http://xkcd.com/168/
[hippo, Nov 22 2011]
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I must say I sort of agree with banning the word 'looser'. As
in "Anybody who doesn't like the Halfbakery is a looser." |
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If you wish to convey a message about something which is
less tight than something else, I'm sorry but you'll just have
to find another antonym. Unfortunate collateral damage
- but it is for the greater good. |
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Looking forward to [ixnaum]'s contest. [+] |
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I note that life will be made difficult for any French
people who are allowed out to go to Pakistan. "Oui"
is banned. |
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(On the other hand, maybe they know what they're
doing in banning the French "oui"). |
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[+] I can't think of a clean thing to say!!
(don't believe they banned *big butt*!!) I guess I can say that person smoked half a ciggie and left a big butt! |
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Apparently nobody is allowed to urinate in Pakistan anymore. Bugger, that's about the only thing its good for. |
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The ban is a phucking stupid idea, and clearly the
qunts and diquads who thought of it have
misunderestimated the ingenuity of the texting
generation. |
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sp:565 JESUS CHIRST
sp:953 SMAGMA
1072-1074 blank! obviously too bad to even list in the
banned word list. |
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There is no hope for them. |
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AOL had a go at this back when they were trying
to plaster the world with CDs. It was not a big
success. |
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Banning the word breast, for example, prevented
people from talking about breast cancer and
looking for embedded rude words forbid people to
come from the genuine English city of Scunthorpe. |
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It seems that Pakistan expects most rude words to
come from America (note the use of "ass" rather
than "arse", for example). |
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So, ASSFUCKER is banned, but ARSEFUCKER is not? |
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I wonder if Pakistan Telecom is being pressured by government boobs. I can't help but think the average Pakistani guy-in-the-street just laughs at this... [+] |
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Even funnier, BEASTIALITY is banned, but BESTIALITY
isn't. LOOSERS! |
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[ASS_KISSER_Quest]'s idea is excellent*, and also an
invertible transformation. It's going to be the new
rot-ASS_COWBOY. |
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//LOOSERS!//
Okay [infidel]. You're on MY list now. |
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The word handicap recently became verboten here. Golfers are not gonna like it. |
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Help! I'm having a *stroke*
The rusty *joint* on my *back door* making it
*harder* to open. Try *banging* at the front.
Is a *screw* inside my four *stroke* engine causing
a *banging* noise?
That dog was gonna *bite me*
We *laid* a flower at the grave.
Let us pray under the *dome* of a mosque
don't forget your sun tan *lotion*
I saw a wood *pecker* today
Your criticism of the filtering system is
*premature*
... and I still can't figure out what makes "Neon
Deon" so offensive. |
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This reminds me of XKCD's "reverse euphemisms" (link) |
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I think 21Q is right. The numbers will become the words. |
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//And then carnal numbers will be banned.// |
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You can be as sure as 14633032/16781 that some
sqrt910116 will find a way round that. |
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// Even funnier, BEASTIALITY is banned, but BESTIALITY
isn't. LOOSERS! // |
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Especially remarkable given that certain acts of bestiality
are not outlawed there. There is a short list of animals
that are considered acceptable, er, companions. This list
includes pigeons. I'm not sure how one goes about doing it
with a pigeon, but if anyone wishes to figure it out,
Pakistan is a good place to start, I guess. |
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It was because LOOSERS is on the list. Strangely
enough LOSERS isn't on it. Those crazy, crazy Pakis. |
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Instead of numbers, alphabetize a list of names of Pakistani bureaucrats... |
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That won't work, [lurch]. Half of them are
Mohammed and the other half are Khan. |
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Yes, great for being vague. But there's still the Ellahis and Fahims and Hayats and Watoos and Ghauris and Chandios and Awans and Jamalis... it'd suffice. |
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