h a l f b a k e r yMay contain nuts.
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The rules are basically the same as "non-extreme" football, with the exception of the ball being replaced by any large, carnivorous member of the family Mustelidae. The game is generally played with a single wolverine or badger with one or two subs off field to account for weasel fatigue. Though the
players are naturally disinclined to make direct contact with the creature, they are still unable to use their hands or arms. Cleats, or any footwear are prohibited. The goal then is to herd the disgruntled animal into the opposition goal. The goalkeeper may be clad as is appropriate currently (minus shoes of course) and may use his hands. The responsibility of keeping the animal within the field of play falls on the player nearest its potential point of exit.
Because of the widespread popularity of the sport, in regions other than boreal Europe and North America, other animals analogous in size, shape, family or level of danger may be used. Therefore Europeans playing abroad might have to train in advance for the unexpected challenges of dealing with the Australian dingos or the Brazilian capybaras.
Ovine pugilism
http://www.timesonl.../article6841306.ece [coprocephalous, Sep 21 2009]
Badger Football
http://sports.espn....lubhouse?teamId=275 [jaksplat, Sep 21 2009]
Badgers
http://www.albinobl...p.com/flash/badgers Yesterday [gnomethang, Sep 21 2009]
[link]
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Most (real) dingoes are extremely flighty, to the point that you have to be paying a great deal of attention even to spot them whilst hiking (or whatever...) out in the bush. It's only [ a) mongrel dog cross-breeds and b) essentially trained by being fed by tourists ] dingoes that will even have any contact whatsoever with humans. So no, dingoes would not be suitable. |
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Because I am really fond of the honey badgers I've seen in documentaries, I find this idea a) funny, because I could imagine the horrifying injuries sustained by the "players" and b) repulsive, because why would you want to be cruel to these amazing creatures. |
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Is there a cruelty-to-animals [marked-for-deletion] tag? |
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//Is there a cruelty-to-animals [m-f-d] tag // |
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There's the "cruelty" one: |
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cruelty - the idea is a new way of torturing or killing a person or an
animal for pleasure or revenge. For example new, more painful
ways of executing prisoners; or ways to booby-trap one's home to
maim burglars. |
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Whether this badger-herding comes under that description is
debatable. I think the poster knows the ferocity of the animal and
wouldn't to go near it with bare feet, and therefore thinks the image
of a bunch of guys bouncing nervously around it would be funny.
However, [pocmloc] evidently foresees a different image, that of 22
men kicking a badger to death. |
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Swings and seesaws, innit. |
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Replace the badger with a 'Robot Wars'-style vehicle and you've got a vote. |
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Aww, I was *so* excited about this until I found out family Mephitidae had been separated out of Mustelidae. |
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Oh, well. Maybe we can sign them up as referees. |
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Don't worry, [21] I'm sure it's statistically irrelevant. |
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[-] half-baked (can't remember what stories this has been in) cruel, and the only entertainment would be if you got a "ball" capable of taking feet off at the ankle. |
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the only realistic interpretation would be sheep dogs trying to herd their charges through gates (which I imagine is quite baked and icinged) |
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Great - kick an animal around and call it sport - ho ho bone. |
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At least the gerbils and ducks have been spared for a
change. They get shit on all the time here. Them and
the poor pigeons. Poor little pigeons. |
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I like pigeons. Always have. In fact I prefer the company of pigeons to that of most people. |
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I suppose the animals discomfort is limited to being digruntled. I'd like to see or do this when drunk with me mates but on this sober early morning I feel I have to vote no. |
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This idea didn't immediately paint a picture of actually kicking the badger in my mind, I would like to assume that the game would actually be competitive, non-contact, badger herding. Still not especially fun though. |
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" competitive, non-contact, badger herding " |
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Sounds a lot like my job, and the engineers I work with. |
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The idea is essentially non-contact badger herding. Contact is naturally physically disallowed by the presence of a badger, but is prohibited by rules as well. I apologise if that was not clear. I am disgusted by cruelty and the last thing I wanted was some form of modern Coliseum game. Cat-herding came to mind, but I was in favor of a sIower, more menacing animal than a cat. I imagined this almost as a form of muggle Quidditch with the badger replacing the snitch. The badger would be a revered part of the sport and the winning team would take the animal out for drinks after the game in appreciation. |
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Just because no kicking is involved, 22 blokes chasing a wild
animal about is highly likely to scare the shit out of it!
Still cruel in my book, albeit less so than originally
anticipated having only read the title. |
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But what animal would they use in Indiana? And how boring would kicking around a buckeye nut be? |
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// invasive species //
What, like candiru? |
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Use a remote-controlled robot badger, with laser eyes. |
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