Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Baby Einstein for the tongue

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(+3)
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A tongue is like a baby--it's orally fixated and squirms a lot. And it's not very bright, being sensory deprived except during meals. That's probably why, when it finds something new in the mouth, it's all over it, even though you tell it, over and over, to leave it alone. Like, if you go to the denist and get a temporary, the tongue swims over to the aluminum nugget, wrapping itself around it, feeling for any sharp or rough edges. It's facinated by rough edges, likes to rub itself raw on them. You can tell it to stop, but that's no good, because the tongue can't hear. The Baby Einstein for the tongue clips over a tooth, and has interesting shapes embossed on it, and games that can occupy even the most hardened, muscle bound tongue. Like a miniature maze with a trapped marble. The tongue pushes the marble around until it gets to the end, and then reverses course. The tongue can do this over and over and never find it boring.

Baby Einstein for the tongue--put one under the tree this Christmas.
Professor Marvel, Dec 23 2003

Food simulator http://www.newscien...s.jsp?id=ns99994006
Mouthtoys for everyone! Chewy Holidays! [friendlyfire]

Bork, borked, borking http://incontext.bl...rchives/015361.html [friendlyfire, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

Bork, borked, borking http://incontext.bl...rchives/015361.html
[mystic2311, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       What an innovative invention. Like it. I liked it better before you corrected 'borking' to 'boring'. I don't know what 'borking' may have meant but it sounded amusing.
dobtabulous, Dec 23 2003
  

       Sold. I like it [+] - Welcome, [Professor M]!
Letsbuildafort, Dec 23 2003
  

       A lifetime supply of cherry stems?
phoenix, Dec 23 2003
  

       I've often thought that when dentists put in a new piece, they should also put something harmless onto the *other* side of your mouth, to keep you distracted from the real stuff. + Excellent Idea!!!
phundug, Dec 23 2003
  

       What's that muffled bell sound I keep hearing? (WTAGIPBAN)
krelnik, Dec 23 2003
  

       Ze french workout.   

       Finally, some sympathy for the poor hardworking tongue. You are a marvel of humane benevolence, Professor.
bungston, Dec 23 2003
  

       This will keep my tongue entertained but I bet it doesn't make anybody look sexy.
Pericles, Dec 24 2003
  

       dobtabulous: Bork, borked, borking, v.t. Refers to the process by which right wing lunatics are not confirmed as SCOTUS judges because of the toxicity of their ideology, as in "Robert Bork got borked."
mystic2311, Dec 24 2003
  

       /This will keep my tongue entertained but I bet it doesn't make anybody look sexy/   

       Unless you find the implication of a strong, dextrous tongue sexy.
bungston, Dec 24 2003
  

       I want one.
noside, Dec 24 2003
  

       This beats using your uvula for a punching bag.
moPuddin, Dec 27 2003
  

       Pinball would be interes+ing.
thumbwax, Dec 28 2003
  

       I want a miniature abacus on my teeth, so people don't see me counting on my fingers.
Overpanic, Jan 05 2004
  

       What about Baby Einstien attachments for tongue piercings?
Detly, Jan 05 2004
  

       How bizarre. +
k_sra, Jan 05 2004
  

       could i get some sexy figurines with my set? ++
nomadic_wonderer, Jan 06 2004
  
      
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