h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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When splitting firewood, use the Axeploder. Only a light swing of the axe required; enough to drive the blade an inch into the wood end-grain, then trigger the explosive cartridge (standard used for powder-actuated hammers). The explosion causes the two-piece axe blade to open like a clamshell, splitting
the wood.
Trigger somewhere on the handle, once you are sure axe is stuck in the wood properly. More fun than those expensive and slow hydraulic splitters.
Lay the wood on its side and maybe make one piece fly up into the back of a truck!
How about for splitting split-rail fence?
[link]
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Would definately need some sort of ammo clip feed system. There's no way I'm going to re-load a charge by hand with every swing. |
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Needs a <spicoli/>gnarly</spicoli> pic. + |
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”You have a license for that axe?” |
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"The essential accessory for the Lumberjack in a Hurry......". |
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12-guage B.P. blanks would be the things to power it with, on a disintegrating link belt. |
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"I want your clothes, your boots, your motorcyle ..... and your big chopper ......" |
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This has so much killing potential, I wish there was a double-plus... |
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I'm certain there are wood splitters that work like this, but I can't find a link for the life of me. |
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Now I just have to get a blue ox and call it Babe. |
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package I;
sub m {print "I'm $_[0]\n";}
sub AUTOLOAD {print "$AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
1;
package He;
sub s {print "He's $_[0]\n";}
sub AUTOLOAD {print "$AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
1;
package main;
sub AUTOLOAD {our $AUTOLOAD=~s/main:://;print "and $AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
sub Wednesday {print "On Wednesdays ";}
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I'm("a lumberjack") && I'm("OK");
I::sleep("all night") && I::work("all day");
I::chop("down trees"),I::eat("my lunch");
I::go("to the lavatory");
if (Wednesday()) {I::go("shopping") && have("buttered scones for tea");}
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He's("a lumberjack") && He's("OK");
He::sleeps("all night") && He::works("all day");
He::chops("down trees"),He::eats("his lunch");
He::goes("to the lavatory");
if (Wednesday()) {He::goes("shopping") && has("buttered scones for tea");} |
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Don't feel bad, [phoenix]. I'm pretty sure there's Ramset-style splitters too but can't find a link either. |
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[shz], what's that all about? |
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Just a bit of lumberjack programming humor I found on the net. It was buried in the middle of a long off-topic thread so I cut/pasted it. Forgot to attribute it to the author when I posted it. Kudos to Benn, whoever that is (obviously a pretty funny guy). |
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I would think the phrase "leg was blown off with an axe" should net a double-take. |
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(Seen on Side Sticker)
WARNING: Not for use with circumcision purposes. |
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just insure you are wearing a coat
of armour before the splinters
launch out like tiny missiles into
your chest and legs. Don't forget
the goggles! I like this idea ^_^ |
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