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Automatic Traffic Breaker

Avoid the wait!
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Have you ever driven up to a busy intersection, and waited for a break in traffic before turning or moving through the intersection? Sometimes you can get through quickly, but all too often it takes an excessive amount of time, waiting and waiting. It's frustrating, of course, and sometimes you feel like this guy [LINK], but what else can you do?

INTRODUCING, THE GOLDCO AUTOMATIC TRAFFIC BREAKER!

Simply install this gadget in your car, and you will (almost) never wait for a break in traffic, ever again!

How does it work, you ask?

By using nearly the same hardware and software that are used in self driving cars, the GOLDCO AUTOMATIC TRAFFIC BREAKER automatically detects when you are waiting for a break in traffic, and "looks around" for those rare indicators that this in an intersection where waiting for a break in traffic is the proper thing to do, and if it does not see them, verbally tells you what you should be doing instead.

In other words, it acts like a digital driving instructor, or like an electronic backseat driver, depending on what level of verbosity you've selected.

Unlike a human instructor, the device knows all the traffic laws perfectly. (When I was a teen, the person who spent the most amount of time teaching me to drive told me to always wait for a break in traffic at a busy intersection. At the time, this seemed to make sense.)

goldbb, Aug 15 2017

Waiting Person https://imgflip.com/i/1q96at
"JUST WAITING FOR A BREAK IN TRAFFIC SO I CAN TURN" [goldbb, Aug 15 2017]

All you need is a pair of mimes https://youtu.be/nS8nPigov0g
[21 Quest, Aug 18 2017]

[link]






       If you are one of those persons who (like myself) was incorrectly taught how to deal with intersections, it goes like this:   

       At any intersection without a traffic light, movement is (theoretically[*]) governed by what are called the Right of Way laws.   

       These laws are often phrased in an archaic manner, but what it boils down it is as follows:   

       If any two vehicles (or a vehicle and a pedestrian) are on courses which will intersect, then it is illegal for them to collide. It is illegal for them to both pass through the point of intersection at the same time.   

       Not only that, but for any given situation, the law always dictates exactly which vehicle (or pedestrian) must pass through the intersection first, and who must pass through the intersection second.   

       The first of the Right of Way laws is that active emergency must go through intersections before any other vehicle.   

       So if you are driving a fire truck to a fire, and you have your siren on and strobes flashing, and you decide to wait for a break in traffic while someone's house burns down, then not only will go to hell, but you'll be breaking a whole assortment of laws, including that Right of Way law.   

       Second, if neither vehicle is an active emergency vehicle, then they must move through the intersection in chronological order of arrival.   

       If you arrive at the edge of the intersection area first, and you choose to go through the intersection second (or third, or fourth, etc), you are breaking the Right of Way law.   

       There is no third, because ties don't happen in real life often enough to matter.   

       ***   

       [*] I said theoretically, because a large number of motorists believe that they personally should always be the first person through the intersection at any time. They're wrong, and will behave in a criminal manner -- driving in front of you when they are legally required to slow or stop until you've passed through the intersection.   

       In the presence of such criminals, move through the intersection slowly and cautiously. Some of these criminals will honk at you. That's normal. Some of these criminals will swerve as they move in front of you. That, too, is normal. Simply keep moving. You don't have to move fast, as long as your speed is nonzero.   

       If you feel frightened because some criminal drove excessively fast, excessively closely to the front of your car, stop for a breath, but don't stay stopped.   

       If you only move forward a couple of inches every time some criminal drives in front of you, you will make much better progress than if you had remained stationary, far away from the intersection, imitating a piece of scenery.   

       In far less time than you might expect, someone will stop instead of driving in front of you.   

       If you're only crossing one lane of traffic, promptly move out of the intersection and be on your merry way.   

       If you're crossing multiple lanes, quickly move forward until you are entirely across the lane of the car which stopped, slow down, and repeat the process for each remaining lane.   

       ***   

       Happy (and Safe) Driving!
goldbb, Aug 15 2017
  

       Urban legend has it that Americans drove on the left side of the road for a short time but one farmer had trained his cows to walk the right and sued to have the law changed because the herd refused to be re-trained.   

       Don't know if it's true or not.   

       Your jurisdiction may vary.
pertinax, Aug 18 2017
  

       <goldbb> in Canada we have a tie braking rule for ties at a 4 way stop if cars arrive at the same time the one to the right has the right of way.
dev45, Aug 21 2017
  

       <goldbb> in Canada we have a tie braking rule for ties at a 4 way stop if cars arrive at the same time the one to the right has the right of way.
dev45, Aug 21 2017
  

       Bunco?
Zimmy, Aug 23 2017
  
      
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