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Have you ever driven up to a busy intersection, and waited
for a break in traffic before turning or moving through the
intersection? Sometimes you can get through quickly, but
all too often it takes an excessive amount of time, waiting
and waiting. It's frustrating, of course, and sometimes
you
feel like this guy [LINK], but what else can you do?
INTRODUCING, THE GOLDCO AUTOMATIC TRAFFIC BREAKER!
Simply install this gadget in your car, and you will (almost)
never wait for a break in traffic, ever again!
How does it work, you ask?
By using nearly the same hardware and software that are
used in self driving cars, the GOLDCO AUTOMATIC TRAFFIC
BREAKER automatically detects when you are waiting for a
break in traffic, and "looks around" for those rare
indicators that this in an intersection where waiting for a
break in traffic is the proper thing to do, and if it does not
see them, verbally tells you what you should be doing
instead.
In other words, it acts like a digital driving instructor, or
like an electronic backseat driver, depending on what level
of verbosity you've selected.
Unlike a human instructor, the device knows all the traffic
laws perfectly. (When I was a teen, the person who spent
the most amount of time teaching me to drive told me to
always wait for a break in traffic at a busy intersection. At
the time, this seemed to make sense.)
Waiting Person
https://imgflip.com/i/1q96at "JUST WAITING FOR A BREAK IN TRAFFIC SO I CAN TURN" [goldbb, Aug 15 2017]
All you need is a pair of mimes
https://youtu.be/nS8nPigov0g [21 Quest, Aug 18 2017]
[link]
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If you are one of those persons who (like myself) was
incorrectly taught how to deal with intersections, it goes
like this: |
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At any intersection without a traffic light, movement is
(theoretically[*]) governed by what are called the Right of
Way laws. |
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These laws are often phrased in an archaic manner, but
what it boils down it is as follows: |
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If any two vehicles (or a vehicle and a pedestrian) are on
courses which will intersect, then it is illegal for them to
collide. It is illegal for them to both pass through the
point of intersection at the same time. |
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Not only that, but for any given situation, the law always
dictates exactly which vehicle (or pedestrian) must pass
through the intersection first, and who must pass through
the intersection second. |
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The first of the Right of Way laws is that active
emergency must go through intersections before any
other vehicle. |
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So if you are driving a fire truck to a fire, and you have
your siren on and strobes flashing, and you decide to wait
for a break in traffic while someone's house burns down,
then not only will go to hell, but you'll be breaking a
whole assortment of laws, including that Right of Way
law. |
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Second, if neither vehicle is an active emergency vehicle,
then they must move through the intersection in
chronological order of arrival. |
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If you arrive at the edge of the intersection area first,
and you choose to go through the intersection second (or
third, or fourth, etc), you are breaking the Right of Way
law. |
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There is no third, because ties don't happen in real life
often enough to matter. |
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[*] I said theoretically, because a large number of
motorists believe that they personally should always be
the first person through the intersection at any time.
They're wrong, and will behave in a criminal manner --
driving in front of you when they are legally required to
slow or stop until you've passed through the intersection. |
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In the presence of such criminals, move through the
intersection slowly and cautiously. Some of these
criminals will honk at you. That's normal. Some of these
criminals will swerve as they move in front of you. That,
too, is normal. Simply keep moving. You don't have to
move fast, as long as your speed is nonzero. |
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If you feel frightened because some criminal drove
excessively fast, excessively closely to the front of your
car, stop for a breath, but don't stay stopped. |
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If you only move forward a couple of inches every time
some criminal drives in front of you, you will make much
better progress than if you had remained stationary, far
away from the intersection, imitating a piece of scenery. |
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In far less time than you might expect, someone will stop
instead of driving in front of you. |
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If you're only crossing one lane of traffic, promptly move
out of the intersection and be on your merry way. |
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If you're crossing multiple lanes, quickly move forward
until you are entirely across the lane of the car which
stopped, slow down, and repeat the process for each
remaining lane. |
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Happy (and Safe) Driving! |
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Urban legend has it that Americans drove on the left side of the road for a short time but one farmer had trained his cows to walk the right and sued to have the law changed because the herd refused to be re-trained. |
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Don't know if it's true or not. |
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Your jurisdiction may vary. |
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<goldbb> in Canada we have a tie braking rule for ties at a 4
way stop if cars arrive at the same time the one to the right
has the right of way. |
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<goldbb> in Canada we have a tie braking rule for ties at a 4
way stop if cars arrive at the same time the one to the right
has the right of way. |
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