Automatic Bag-a-sand™

Beads of sweat are glistening on your forehead in the reflection of the golden idol before you. Careful now adventurer. There are deadly dart guns in the walls aimed at you and a huge boulder clinging ominously to the chute above your muddied leather fedora, all poised and ready to reap murderous ancient revenge upon hapless tomb-raiding plunderers such as yourself. No, put that bag of sand away, I'm serious. This is actually really dangerous. You might die.

Now, open your satchel - you'll notice I packed the Automatic Bag-a-sand™ for you. Take it out, unfold the extendible frame and construct a scaffold over the idol, securing the clamps to anything attached to the ground, or the ground itself. Then, carefully pull down the claw clamp from the mechanism above and, really carefully, attach it, carefully, to the idol. Extend the pressure pad down to lightly touch the pedestal's surface. Now stand back and flick the remote control.

As you can see, as the idol is leaned off its pedestal the pressure pad exerts more pressure on to the platform. The clamp and pressure pad are linked inside the mechanism above to always counterbalance each other. As one lifts the other pushes with the same force. By the time the idol has been lifted the Auto Bag-a-sand™ is pushing down with the same pressure as the idol had done previously. Then the pressure locks in place allowing you to retrieve the idol and not be cut in half by inconceivably sharp - motorised! - ancient circular saws.

Now grab the idol and leg it son! There's pygmies a-coming!

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The ABaS can also be used to (a) push switches down the end of insect infested shafts, (2) shoved into the spokes of a nazi's motorcycle wheel and (iii) attached to a biplane-mounted machine gun extending the barrel's length to ensure your Dad can't shoot the tail out.

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See illustration <linky>