h a l f b a k e r yWhat's a nice idea like yours doing in a place like this?
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Warning ! Attack furniture on patrol. This sign would be
prominently displayed on your property as a deterent. The
idea is that it places a deep dread, rising from a fear of the
unknown, in the mind of a potential intruder.
Who relishes the idea of being pinned down by a raging wardrobe, ably
assisted by a swarm of folding chairs?
[link]
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[marked–for–deletion] absolute bollocks, completely lacking in invention. |
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...anything to fill the userpage "eh"? |
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Still waiting for [coproc]'s fishbone to attack. Clearly not trained properly. |
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A recent psychologists's report commissioned by the
Home Office in the UK revealed that one in ten burglars
expressed a fear of becoming entangled with folding
chairs when making good their escape. Now go and fetch
a stick and I'll throw it for you little doggies. |
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I don't find this the least bit amusing. Is it me? |
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//burlgar //
what is burlgar, some type of burlap cigar or an internet burger of some sort? is it good? can i have some? |
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A burlgar is an inturder who takes your thnigs. |
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im glad to know i played a small part in that. |
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This idea takes us into Dr Who territory I'm pleased to say. "Terror of the Autons" featured a plastic 'attack' chair that wrapped itself around it's victim and suffocated them to death. Classic stuff. |
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"A burlgar is an inturder who takes your
thnigs." |
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At first i thought you were just an idiot
... but then i realised ... and now i can't
stop laughing (God i hope that wasn't
just a typo). |
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Don't like my idea? good ! Means you won't be tempted. I
had one of these signs outside my former home for years
and my house has never been broken into - at one time
every single property on my street was robbed apart from
mine. |
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Neither do I, but I'd like to. |
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It's true, a house with a sign in the window... ANY SIGN... is less likely to be burglarized than a house without a sign in the window. I suspect burglars are deathly afraid of reading. |
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As to the furniture, Definitely! You should train them folding chairs to attack, or at least set them near the windows. They make a terrible racket. |
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On the basis that the best form of defence is attack (? Napoleon ?), why not enlist the use of an ideal covert system such as furniture? I'm thinking of anaesthetic / sedative-dart launchers in chair arms, HV Stun supply to metallic items (e.g Kitchen chairs or Bar stools), pepper spray dispensers behind eye-level devices (kitchen cabinets, cooker hoods), nylon trip-wires at the bottom of stairs (reduces risk of serious injury) and suchlike. |
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Alternatively use piezo "sound-bombs" placed inside / under furniture to disorientate / disable any intruder. |
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Also alternatively - an "on the CHEEP" option would simply to invest in three Sun Conures - those who know, know just what I mean! |
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