Astrologonomy

Astrology continues to enjoy enormous popularity and reap large revenues for its practitioners. However, its system is based on observations hundreds or thousands of years old. Astronomy employs special telescopes and satellites and can characterize the position and motion of celestial objects in ways never before possible. But astronomers are poor, and wear worn out pants.

Astrology and astronomy is a match made in heaven. Using their scopes, astrologonomers can expand the traditional astrologic system to take into account the motions of small comets and moons in our solar system, as well as extremely large, powerful, and possibly influential entities such as pulsars, dark matteroids and distant galaxies. I predict that those with money soon parting them will desert their astrologers en masse and turn to the astrologonomers for advice, as well as amazing pictures from the Hubble.