Appropriate Football Injuries

After every televised football match, a fifa-appointed independent panel will look through the footage and note down any time a player has feigned an injury. The said panel will then come to a decision on what incident would actually cause an injury that would warrant the player’s wincing/moaning/rolling around on the floor.

For example, when Rivaldo fell to the floor in the 2002 World Cup after he was hit on the thigh by a ball, the panel would suggest that he would be punched in the face by a medium weight boxer. The same idea would be applied to players who go to the floor in apparent agony after a fair challenge. They would simply be made to run at the same speed they were going when they dived, at which point they would be tripped up.

If implemented, this idea would eliminate cheating in professional football, which in turn would have a trickle-down effect right down to grass roots level, thus making the sport much better to watch and play.