h a l f b a k e r yBusiness Failure Incubator
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Everyone knows that Apples taste more delicious if bitten
into within moments of being plucked from the tree in
the
orchard than they do if grouped and shipped via
conventional transportation and distribution networks.
This is a network of tubing that makes near instant
intercity apple delivery
possible in our time.
Think compressed air driven drive up banking containers
except on a massive massive scale engineered just for
delivering apples from the tree branch directly to the
consumers mouth at great distance.
In the orchard there is a boom mounted tubal arm that is
maneuvered by the orchard worker when an order for a
fresh picked apple is placed. Like a giant vacuum he
suctions an apple from the tree under such great pressure
that the selected apple is propelled all the way to the
desired city apple expeller port.
the expeller end of the tube is engineered to decelerate
the apple appropriately so as not to damage the
recipient
at the moment of apple acceptance.
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This is great, and it's exactly the thing that extremists around the world would rally against. |
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If we scaled this down, could we transmit olives via
Ethernet? |
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That might explain the slow wine drips. |
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Hmm, well the token ring network was prototyped using mustard seeds (having very little inertia), so maybe it is possible to scale up, but then it'd just be another Apple product. |
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I am not sure it's the time, as opposed to the vicinity. Perhaps the eater should be sucked along the tube to the orchard, instead? |
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So disappointed... Imagined Macs on a trebuchet. |
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Better would be a cultural effort to prize the aspects of conventionally shipped apple. Love the one you're with. |
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An Apple trebuchet would accelerate apples (fruit or computer) over castle walls. |
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I see, a '99 powermac for heavy structural damage, a bucket
of ipod Nanos as a grapeshot, nice. |
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Dont some need to be sun ripened like bananas or
pears? or was that my imagination?. |
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Im going to go experiment this. Back in a few weeks! |
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...or you could put apple trees on the top of sky
scrapers and then put a drop net down the side so
when the apples fall they will safely land ads gift
next to pedestrians. |
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//apple trees on the top of sky scrapers//
<Apple vendor>
(Catch) "Fresh apples!"
(Catch) "Fresh apples!"
(Miss...) "Er, fresh apple sauce!"
</Av> |
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