h a l f b a k e r yNot the Happy Cuddle Club.
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There they are, two expensive luxury cars parked side by side in the parking lot...
The professional car thief begins eyeing his prey. The first car is parked in slightly more light and has "The Club" fastened firmly onto the steering wheel.
The second car, parked in lower light and more
concealed from view begins to look even more tempting. No "Club" on the steering wheel, and a more expensive stereo system to boot. Not only that, it's not even locked!
Noticing that the keys are still in the ignition, the thief climbs into the car and puts his hand on the steering wheel to find a gross, gooey, hideous mess on the wheel. Completely disgusted and grossed out, the thief quickly exits the vehicle, going after another car...
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Only $9.95 while supplies last, the non-toxic, washable, anti-theft snot is available in your choice of colors: Goober Green, Mucous Maize, or Shimmering Ick! If you order now, you get an extra pack of quick-wipe rags FREE!
[link]
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And the thief thinks:
"I could get thousands of dollars from this car, but there's an icky goo on the steering mechanism. I better not take it."
Not so much. - |
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Has some use, in that, if you get back to your car and find the handle is sticky, it means an (already sticky) thief was thinking about stealing your car. |
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Er..gooey theft deterrent? Look, if car thiefs are willing to respray a stolen car they sure as hell won't mind getting it valeted and they may just begin to take a pair of marigolds with them on their robbing sprees. |
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I was going to give this a bone for the use of "grossed out" which is a despicable phrase but then I spotted "Shimmering Ick". That sounds rather nice, funnily enough, and feels nice to say. So I shall remain neutral. |
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I would come out with an invention called a HANKEY and sell it to the criminals. The HANKEY has magical powers that remove sticky things from surfaces when the HANKEY is applied to it. |
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Cheaper than yours too at $2.95 |
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[macncheesy]... excellent idea. I think we should team up and share air time for the infomercials. :) |
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Why not just put superglue on the steering wheel, leave the door unlocked, and remove the engine. Volia, one thief caught red (and sticky) handed. |
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You can buy snot. It's a kind of surfboard wax. |
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Gorilla Snot is stuff you put on a guitar pick to reduce the chances of dropping it, and a drink (port and Bailey's), and stuff that engineers use to prevent sand blowing away. |
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