Anti-Vacation

Human experience is relative in nature. If you're having a good time, it's always measured against the standard type of time you've had in the past. This is why some people are happy living in a mud hut as a subsistence farmer, and some people are miserable even though they own an island. If you gave the hut- dweller an island, they'd likely be happy, and if you put the former island-owner in a hut, they'd likely be miserable, because their experience is relative.

This is where it becomes obvious that we're doing vacations all wrong. Perhaps you're an accountant living in Guildford, whiling away your existence one 40hr work week at a time, driving your 7 yo car back and forth to a 3 bedroom semi detached house. Compared to the Earth's average inhabitant, your life is going pretty damned spectacularly. You should be deliriously happy, but no, instead, you decide a nice vacation will cheer you up.

So you're off. 2 weeks all inclusive in Barbados. 2 weeks of sun, beaches, pools, food & drinks service and room cleaning etc. with no bigger demand than working your way through a second paperback. Lovely. That's a nice experience. You can tell, because you've compared it to your tedious financial work at a desk in Guildford. After 2 weeks, your brain starts to think life can always be like this, but no. Now you're off back to the office and the tedious financial work. You had a good time for 2 weeks, but for the other 50 weeks in the year, your stuck comparing office work with lounging around on a beach being brought your 3rd Daiquiri. now you know you're having a shitty time.

So, the solution. The opposite, an Anti-Vacation. Barbados? Oh no. This year you'll be doing a couple of weeks in the Jinchuan Nickel mine in China! A mere 200 miles from the Mongolian border this beauty has 430 million tonnes of proven low-grade Nickel sulfide reserves! Remember your overalls and safety gear because you don't want another verbal dressing down when you report to shift-supervisor Li, not given how badly you're likely to perform in your new role. You'll be doing a good number of hours, 12 per day on average, however as the new person, you'll be filling in on whichever shift has a vacancy, so don't expect your circadian rhythms to be anything other than frazzled.

Lunch is served in-mine and might be surprisingly good, although don't expect a cold beer at the end of the shift... As a special guest employee, you'll be off to the theater! To take in the corporate presentations from the last 10 years alongside perennial favorites from the government propaganda dept.

Your flight back will be eventful, new "sub-economy" seating has been designed with Anti-Vacations in mind. For safety reasons ear plugs are banned and babies only fly free if they're crying!!

So, how's Guildford looking now? Same again next year? Or are we planning to take in a package tour? 1 week in a Pakistani tannery before we take a connecting flight to Mumbai sewage work?