Anti-Cat

The Anti-Cat is a genetically altered cat which has had its digestive system turned around backwards, so the colon is joined to the mouth, and the esophagus is fused to the anus. The Anti-Cat has also undergone genetic behavioral reprogramming, so that rather than hunting mice and birds, and crapping in sandboxes, it eats cat shit from litterboxes and craps into a food bowl. Because of the gastrointestinal reversal, it is able to convert cat shit into perfectly edible Fancy Feast style cat food (Friskies and Meow Mix add-ons sold separately).

In this way, you can have a regular cat and an Anti-Cat living harmoniously in your house, and you will never need to buy cat food, cat litter, or change a litter box again!

The clever reader now thinks he has spotted a problem. What about conservation of energy, he asks? Cat food is rich in chemical potential energy, cat feces contains little more than undigestible fiber, bacteria, and malodorous coproducts. That's where the Anti-cat vita-drops come in. A 30 day supply of vita-drops sells for just $29.99 (that's less than a dollar a day!). A few drops on the stools in the litter box each morning will provide the Anti-Cat with the energy he needs as well as the vital components which his intestines must re-introduce into the bolus as it turns it back into cat food, to be regurgitated through the Anti-Cat's rectum.

Any questions?