h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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Whenever there's a natural or man-made disaster, the scum filth gutter press always have, somewhere in their text, a line like, "and thousands of innocent seabirds are coated with oil" or "hundreds of innocent animals have perished in the forest fire".
But are they really innocent ? Is that seabird,
now flapping pathetically along the beach, the same evil creature that deposited a huge streak of guano on your clean car last week ? Is the racoon in the picture the same one that stole the bacon from your picnic table last summer ? Is that rabbit the unfit mother that let her offspring wander into the path of your car, causing you to swerve and damage your tyre as you ran onto the verge ?
The obvious way to do this is to put animals on trial for thei collective crimes. We already have horse trials in the UK; sadly, the death penalty is not available. I see no reason why the system should not be extended to other animals.
A criminal who is killed while evading the police in a high-speed pursuit recieves little or no public sympathy. I don't see why, in the interests of justice (and to pacify all those pansy pinko Guardian-reading vegetarian animal lovers) the same principles should not be applied to the animal world.
criminal prosecution of animals
http://www.rbooksho...mals_1886363528.htm
[po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
animals in law.
http://www.animalcr...m/animals_in_cj.htm
[po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Badminton horse trials
http://www.badminton-horse.co.uk/
[po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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// you want animals tortured (forest fires, oil spills) or killed for these things.// |
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No, I don't want them to happen - they just do; and then the press invariably churn out the same old tired cliche. I want to know if they're telling the whole truth - I suspect they're just making it up. |
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// You are truly a disturbed individual // |
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Like everyone else round here ? |
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// Let's start with your dog, 8. I'm sure he's up to no good // |
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So am I. Completely. That's why I want a telepresence system to keep an eye on him. It's certianly not me making all those premium-rate phone calls during the day ...... |
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And what about the seagulls and other birds who perform suicide runs on jet engines? Would punitive action be taken against the rest of their flock? |
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2 legs good 4 legs bad. So get a load of 8. |
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[Pharaoh Mobius] No, just some sort of air safety retraining programme. |
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[Admiral Hackbar] Eight legs scary ? |
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// how do you know it stays at home when you're out // |
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I don't, that's the problem. But I can't see him going out and paying in an internet cafe when he's got Broadband at home. |
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//Maybe it even has a key of its own // |
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Yes, they're innocent. No mens rea. No knowledge that what they're doing is wrong. |
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Also, horse trials? Link? |
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I was thinking more 8 legs, orgy. |
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[bookworm], what if the crime was strict liability, requiring no mens rea? |
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Hobbes or Locke or some similar proponent of social contract theory once pointed out that you can't contract with beasts. Which is why ducks make terrible hitmen. |
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