h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Angst Room
A room you go to to rend your garments and gnash your teeth | |
The other day someone was telling me about her difficult (to say the
least) birth experience which almost killed her and her son and it
brought up a load of stuff which I decided not to express at the time,
but it's resulted in me getting all stupid about ridiculous things like
films and coffee
cups or something in a highly histrionic manner.
Now,
we already have that venerable institution of the Angry Dome and
also
the toilet, where we are able to dump urine and stools, but there is no
corresponding room to excrete our angst, excretory process though
it
be. Therefore, I suggest a soundproofed padded cubicle into which
one
can lock oneself, possibly furnished with Munch, Francis Bacon and
Gerald Scarfe posters and speakers playing atonal music, and weep
and wail for a bit so as not to bother people with your emotional
drama
when it's not about them or the situation at all but just a load of
baggage you're carrying around from previous situations.
In time, this room would become sufficiently imbued with despair
and
loathing that simply going in there would greatly magnify the
ostentatious drama of the situation, leading to more efficient
affective
ablutions.
Smash Shack
http://money.cnn.co...ss/smash_shack.smb/
[JesusHChrist, Mar 02 2014]
I see your verbosity, and raise you a 12864
12864
Something to do with computer parts I reckon... [RayfordSteele, Mar 03 2014]
ARRRRRGH_27S!!!
[calum, Mar 05 2014]
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Annotation:
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What you'd need in there (if you don't find some other way of ceasing to need one of these, which seems to be your sensible ultimate intended destination) is a kind of dart board with a stick figure that's quite difficult to hit drawn on it. |
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The scrawled name of the stick figure would be "Sigmund Fraud" to begin with. Later, you would change the name (when this one got boring). |
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The idea would be to damage the stick figure, till, in the fullness of time it became fubar. |
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The dart board would need to be a floor-to-ceiling affair with irregular, mostly vertical, edges. The room would need to be extremely narrow (too narrow to fit your shoulders), a little bit dark, padded (as you rightly point out it should be), and should contain a heater kept always on, just in case. Studies have shown this to be the most distracting environment in times of Angst. (And actually auch Sturm und Drang - but I think that's a different topic). |
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Your koan while interred might be something like "Ï do not believe it". More than likely it would have to be something much better, which I leave as an open question. |
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Actually a more effective alternative would be to make friends with a dog, and go walkies. |
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(This response is much, much, much too long, isn't it?) |
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No, it's of absolutely ideal length. |
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Maybe that room could be the gym, and the
instrument of excretion the Heavy Bag? I believe
there was a scene depicting such at the beginning of
the Avengers movie. |
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Thanks nineteenthly. You have relieved my Angst on this score. |
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As for the heavy bag, this might have some usefulness in this case. Suspended between the throwing point and the dart board, the bag would contribute some of the vexatiousness the experts recommend in these cases. |
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Eventually one could climb up onto the heavy bag, hug the rope, and gibber plaintively, if necessary. |
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Of course if one were to make friends with a dog, one could gently lower and release a heavy bag kept for this purpose in a tree in the garden, and drag said heavy bag around before doing something f!Ant!ASti!!c!! (like going for a !wal!k!!). There's a fair chance that your friend, the dog, would hump the heavy bag if you did so (since it would resemble a large bag of laundry being dragged down the passage, and we all know how dogs feel about laundry bags). |
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Yes, I think the dog might cunningly trick you into forgetting you were in Angst in such a case. |
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And then finally you could even invite the dog into the Angst Room with you, and get him to fart a bit in there to make it more repellant, and odiously, wonderfully loathsome. |
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[skoomphemph], might I remind you that you're still
on probation here for another four years? |
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Sarah's Smash Shack San Diego (link) |
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Have you thought of just bottling it up, [nineteenthly]? With your talents, you could cellar it for a few years, then produce it to the public as an important work of art. |
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Oh, and [skoomphemph], don't mind [MaxwellBuchanan]; he's actually still on probation now, except we've lost the paperwork. |
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Four years ? You told me it was eight ! |
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I've submitted the verbosity reflex suppression undertaking in triplicate, signed my acknowledgement of my final irregular spelling warning (thankfully restricted to the word "f!Ant!ASti!!c!!" - which should be spelled "FAN!!!t!ASti!!ck!!") ... |
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... and ... yes, another verbosity reflex suppression suppression notification has just come in (the blue one, this time). |
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May I just please add that the long wall of the Angst room should be contrived so as to gradually squeeze the occupant? (So it would need to be a dry wall on tracks, powered by a not excessively powerful motor) |
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Yes, what pertinax said. Bottled up angst is the force
behind so many great creative works of art we have.
Keep it inside till it eats your liver! |
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*That's* not verbosity... |
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... *This* ... {nods towards [Vernon]} ... is verbosity. |
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Already doing that, [pertinax]. |
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With due respect to my fellow Perthian, the word [pertinax] is looking for is Overbosity. |
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Ah, yes. No, it wasn't the word I was looking for, but ah, yes, we are fellow Perthians. |
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We should probably attempt a brief, sub-quorate half-con some lunchtime on St George's Terrace, one of these days - if only to find out, Perth still being in some ways a small town, whether we've already met in real life. |
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