h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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AngelBras
Bras that would accomodate angel's wings | |
Now, this is a stretch, (and is entirely dependant upon human beings even being able to implant wings on the spinal cord so that they could be moved and used for flying, and such) but I think that bras for angels would be a necessary thing that few people think about when considering such procedures
as wing implants.
First of all, the bra would have to be more of a harness, because the wings would get in the way of the strap. Also, you might have to get help in getting the bra on, but hopefully, you'll have friends with whom you're close enough to ask for their help.
Can angels have sex?
http://www.alienres...ce.org/matt2230.htm
No one hmms in heaven, but on earth, angels assume human form, eat and drink, and may be able to hmm. [pottedstu, Feb 11 2002]
(?) Sex in heaven?
http://www.lunarpag...gazers/sexinhev.htm
Angels may have come to earth and had their way with human women. So condoms for angels may be more useful. [pottedstu, Feb 11 2002]
(?) Article about bras.
http://www.studenta...0-t0-a11544,00.html
This is what I came up with when I asked the question "What are bras for?" [DrBob, Feb 11 2002]
Pope Joan at urbanlegends.com
http://www.urbanleg...gion/pope_joan.html
Sources of a false rumour. Joan wasn't actually mentioned in histories till 300 years after her supposed death. [pottedstu, Feb 11 2002]
Pro-Pope Joan argument at UL
http://www.urbanleg.../pope_joan_pro.html
She's mentioned by very kosher (in a manner of speaking) 15th C Vatican historian Platina. [pottedstu, Feb 11 2002]
Sex in heaven for Islamic Martyrs?
http://www.straight...columns/011214.html
Cecil Adams ponders the rewards Islamic Martyrs offered to martyrs by Islamic teaching. [pottedstu, Feb 11 2002]
Backless/Strapless Sensation Bra
http://www.herroom....001-5520&Category=0
[Helium, Feb 11 2002]
Warp Alice
http://www.ruthannz...rland/curiouser.htm
into all kinds of shapes [thumbwax, Feb 12 2002]
Knockers or knobs?
http://sibboleth.bl...n-hebrew-bible.html
more like y-fronts [bhumphrys, Feb 06 2008]
ping!
ping_20go_20the_20s..._20of_20my_20heart!
[po, Feb 06 2008]
[link]
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Spinal cord?? Er, you may go ahead and do that, but the shoulder blades seem like a far likelier solution to me...and before we get started on the bras, let's work on the issue of wings at *all*... |
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Why not a bra that comes with wings? |
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I'm pretty sure that angels go braless. |
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I thought this was going to be a bra with angel wings on the back. Oh well. |
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Don't worry, by the time you engineer the rest of the body for flight, your sternum will have got so large (to attach the flight muscles) that the whole problem becomes somewhat irrelevant. |
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Aside from the fact that angels are asexual men, and thus not in great need of bras, I believe there are already bras/cup-holder-thingies designed to be worn with backless dresses, which would I assume suffice, in the unlikely event that you did find an angel with big boobies. |
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I know a happykitten, and YOU, HappyKitty are NO happykitten. |
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If you alter physics to the point where a woman with wings can stay aloft, why not simply alter it to the point where this isn't a problem?. |
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And while I'm on the subject cherubim have lion's heads. Angels are all men (Michael, Gabriel...) |
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(But, omigod! Are there now blissmiss1-blissmiss22 plus the original?) |
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Angels are asexual, pot. BTW I wonder what Pope Joan would have said about it. |
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Angels are asexual? So, heaven may not be the place it's cracked up to be? |
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There's no sex in heaven. (I'm not sure if this is universal in Christianity, but certainly widespread theology. Lucky I'm an atheist.) |
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"God created Man in His image" |
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So what is HIS jewels for then? To look cool? Just to piss through? |
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Sex is a punishment for Original Sin (well childbirth is explicitly a punishment, but sex also, my theological sources indicate. I don't know if God would give Adam dangly bits if he would have no use for them.) |
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Anyhow, further research reveals a network of dubious radical Christianity that suggests angels came to earth and boffed people in the distant past, although the "no sex in heaven" rule seems more widesepread. |
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The apocryphal gospel of Thomas, a collection of Jesus's sayings probably from the first century AD. (c. AD 50) includes the following: |
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<< Simon Peter said to them, "Make Mary leave us, for females don't deserve life." Jesus said, "Look, I will guide her to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every female who makes herself male will enter the kingdom of Heaven." >> |
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So in conclusion: jockstraps, maybe; bras, nope. |
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po: Pope Joan (allegedly 855 to 858) never existed; she was a 14th century anti-Catholic fabrication. |
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[pot] prove it. sex is a punishment? thats a new one.
what did I do to deserve chocolate then? |
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"no sex in heaven"... isn't that a contradiction in terms? Well, if hell is where all the fornicators go, I've just worked out whether or not to live a pious life. |
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[pot] angels can hummmm. have they forgotten the words? |
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//angels can hummmm//
...then they should take a bath more often.
I was going to post a question along the lines of 'why would an angel need a bra anyway', but then I thought, 'why does anyone need a bra?'. So then I googled for the answer and came up with the link above. |
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Pope Joan links supplied. There's little evidence, but lots of folklore. |
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As to sex being a punishment, I can believe love is a punishment, but surely not sex. Still, the church is pretty anti-sex, especially the celibate branches thereof, so who knows what they think. |
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Sorry about "hmm"; I was experimenting with obscure sexual euphemisms. "hmm"="you know what". |
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//the church is pretty anti-sex// |
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I don't think the church are anti-sex, more the misuse of it. After all God created sex. |
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If I may explain my intention, (to get us off these knotty theological problems, of which NONE OF US!!!!!!!! are qualified to answer) which was for bras designed for humans who have had cosmetic surgery to add synthetic wings to their spinal column. THese wings may not even be able to fly, in the first generation, but no matter; the emphasis is on the bras, not the wings. |
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And as for the angels being male, the order of the Virtues were personified as females. If we are taking all angels into account, that is. If not, then, well... |
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// I don't think the church are anti-sex, more the misuse of it. // |
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But then you're just left with defining what constitutes misuse (I think we're all opposed to the misuse of pretty much everything), and unless we all want a trip to Troll-Baiter's anonymous, I suggest we follow HappyKitty and return to underwear design (if thinking about breasts is not sinful). |
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I disagree, I do not think we should indulge HappyKitty's obvious fetish for female clothing and I think we should continue to discuss the misuse of sex.
Did I say that? |
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OK, since you ask, those men seeking sex in heaven should try Islam. The Hadith (sayings of Mohammed) number 2,562 says the just/righteous get at least 72 wives in Heaven; possibly less of an incentive for women. I also found some weird purportedly Mormon website that said in Heaven every man got 45 wives, but I think it was very very nutty. So I guess you pays your money and you takes your choice. (Not sure how women are supposed to choose.) |
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And, po, would you rather Kitty was putting bras on flying women, or having them flap about ungathered? Think of the plane crashes *that* would cause. (Sorry, I've now offended women, pilots, Moslems and Christians today.) |
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I think one of those halter neck bras made for backless, halter neck dresses would be more than adequate. No need to thread your wings through. |
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Or how about strapless and backless magicups, or the backless/strapless sensation bra. See Link. |
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I think you'll find there's a bra for every conceivable occasion. Trust me, I've seen more than my share of womens underwear/nightwear in my time... |
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..my mother was a lingerie designer. |
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we know you for the liar you are... perv.. |
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Shouldn't this be a reverse-worn bra for supporting the wings when not in flight? |
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po, who are you calling a liar and/or perv? |
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can't remember now, if the cap fits.... |
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lets keep Alice out of this |
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shamelessly says "check out the new link" |
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If I was an angel I'd have huge ass black crow wings and 44ddd boobs. I'd wear a bra made from grape leaves sewn together with the purest silk. |
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Since I'm only human I would score with any angel with huge wings and boobs, bra or no bra. |
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does anyone know how you could get usable wing attachments. you can now grow some skin in labs and there working on organs so do you think they could grow wings and make them work. i know you can get metal wings if you really wanted much like getting a spine or shoulder piercing but not usable; anyone know if there has been a successful usable wing transplant |
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Usable for what? If you wanted to flap them and take off, then I believe you'd need not just to add wings but also add a probably unfeasible volume of chest muscle, and/or lose a *lot* of weight from the rest of your body (and not just fat - I believe birds have hollow bones). |
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If you'd be happy with hang-gliding implants, that might be easier. |
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//does anyone know how ...// I hate to
have to tell you this, [phynxlili], but no-
one without capital letters can fly, ever. [P]
o, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. |
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[Pottedstu] you have made a great point about jockstraps (see link) |
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[m]B, does the humble fly have a capital? it flies... |
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Amusing point of Halfbakery anthropology - |
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[harp1369], who annoed above on 04/26/02, has never posted an idea. |
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[harp1369], however, has annoed on no less than 10 other ideas. |
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All of them being about either bras or breasts. |
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did we do harp bra? oops, I think I did something similar. |
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Does the fact that [normzone] has excavated this fascinating fact say more about the boob-obsessed baker, or the one interested enough in boob obsession to perform such an excavation project. Full disclosure: I love boobs too. |
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is 1369 significant? <linky> |
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