h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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[po] recently brought to my attention the existence of a
satirical Ladybird Book cover entitled "'How It Works' -
The UK Governments [sic] Track And Trace" with a pic of
a boy back in the day using one of those tin can and
string telephones.
It then occurred to me that the technology is available
to manufacture a genuine tin can containing baked
beans, cocoa or whatever, with a screw top which can
easily be removed to remove the contents and consume
(or it could be a ring pull), which is also a fully
functional Android device, and in particular a mobile
phone with a SIM slot and maybe also a Micro-SD, battery
at the base of the can, mini-USB charger too. There's an
inner lining to protect the hardware and keep it clean.
The outer surface is a touch screen which initially
displays the classic "serving suggestion", perhaps a video
ad or animation. The inner bottom surface bears a CCD,
mic and speaker. A string-like antenna projects from
the base.
Once the can is empty, you unscrew and retain the rigid
plastic lining and can use the phone for calls and audio
media. There is a degree of acoustic amplification via
the whole canniness of the thing. You can also place a
lens or pinhole at the top of the can and use it as a
camera using the lid. Videos can be displayed on the
side of the can, and it can do all the usual stuff required
of an Android device, e.g. browsing the web, playing
Defender or cylindrical chess. Special apps are available
to exploit the cylindricality of the thing.
If you wish, you can screw the liner back in, take it to a
shop and have them dispense food into it. The can is
then informed wirelessly of its contents and will display
an appropriate image or video.
It also goes "MOO" or "BAA" when you turn it upside down
or the right way up again.
[link]
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And with a bit of string out the end you would then have
some string when you need it in those pesky situations
where string is needed. I needed some string the other day
to lash up a prototype face mask using a hanky and the
string. |
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If you say string a lot, it starts to sound odd. |
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string string string string string string string string
string string string string string string string string
string string string string string string string string
string string string string string string string string
string string string string string string string
stringIseewhatyoumean. |
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The question arising in my mind right now is, is this a
can of food with a free mobile or a mobile with free
food? |
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But yes, could be used as other things to be sure. |
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Well I can spend a day with one in my handbag, being
relatively devoid of pockets most of the time, and
have in fact done so as a result of spontaneous
supermarket visitation as one did back in the day, but
it may not have been a baked bean tin. How
important is that detail? |
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It could possibly be made unrollable and telescopic,
rendering it a small thing. |
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The string should be elastic and have a small magnet at the end. To make a call you can discretely attach the magnet to anything metal and walk away a bit and then hold the tin to your ear. |
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I believe the idea specifically calls for a tin can. Substituting
steel or aluminum would shirley alter the desired acoustics,
those being rather pointedly, er, tinny. |
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It so happens I envisaged the possibility of different
sizes, although I was thinking more vertically than in
all dimensions, as on that site. |
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Tin cans are usually made of steel |
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And how long have you possessed this knowledge
of apparent naming fraud, hmm? Long enough to have
steered this idea in a more correcter direction? |
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[looks for something small and heavy to throw at something
large and fragile] |
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You will be severely punished for your superior knowledge. |
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Suggests you been hanging out with po too much, (no
offense, po). |
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Also, "canniness" no such word. You made that up to fit your
needs. You broke all the rules. |
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Wait, po says it's ok and she's a moderator. I can hear her
through my canninesses. That would be two of your Android
tins, in case you didn't know. |
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canny : the opposite of uncanny. |
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// Tin cans are usually made of steel // |
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Well this would increase the proportion of tin
considerably because of its presence in display
screens. |
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Tinned steel, to be precise. |
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So will the product sound tinny or steely? Either would
probably be okay so long as it doesn't sound aluminummy. |
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Is aluminummy kind of like a duller muffled kind of aluminiummy? |
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