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Traditionally, golf is played on a vast expanse of terrestrial territory with grass, sand bunkers, rough, and other hazards. And while this activity has proven to be a popular pastime, many have searched for variations upon the original game. Thus, I propose the game of amphibious golf.
Amphibious
golf is played on a calm lake designated solely to the game, and uninterrupted by traffic. The fairway is the lake surface itself, marked with buoys, while the greens are buoyant log-rafts covered with artificial turf. The objective remains the same: get the ball in the hole in as few shots as possible.
Of course, with a fluid surface, players other than the Messiah himself would have trouble making drives and chips. Thus, the "golf cart" is a large, flat, motorized raft that moves slowly so as to create little surface disturbance. The golfer is to hit the floating ball while standing on the raft.
Besides the green, a number of other rafts with artificial turf are positioned on the lake surface. Taking up at least a third of the course, they may contain hazards of their own.
The other three members of the foursome can set up a lure and hope to catch something while waiting for their turns.
Naturally, this golf course would require a "Buoyant Golf Ball," and could make use of a few thick "Neoprene Islands."
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Yeah, why the hell not? I'd probably
play a round of water golf. + |
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Watch out for the grass hazard, though. |
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Could take awhile to play 18 holes. Ever try to swing a club in a mud puddle? |
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"Caddie, what's par for this course?"
"923." |
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Oh, well, I guess I should point out, the ball for this course would be *extremely* buoyant. It would ride very high in the water so that one could still hit it underneath without having to drag the club through the water. I would imagine a par 5 on this course measuring no longer than 200 yards, if that. |
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Turbulence could also be artificially generated in select spots, allowing for trick shots. |
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Ambiguous Golf: played in a thick sea mist and a strong swell. |
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So this ball that rides high - is it levitating or something? Otherwise you are going to get some water resistance going in any way underneath the ball. |
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Aqua Golf: Traditionally played in a Scottish downpour. Scuba diving gear optional. |
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Ambidextrous golf: when you swing two
clubs at the same time with different
hands. usually played after losing a
regular game. |
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Yeah, you would still get SOME water resistance, but the greater the percentage of the ball out of the water, the less resistance you will experience. |
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OB: over-board.
When the wind is blowing correctly, use its effect on the ball by simply waiting for the ball to move to the flag.
The rafts would need to have a surface that was level with the surface of the water, otherwise addressing the ball would be difficult.
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// addressing the ball // |
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"Helloooooo, ball!" (sorry, just had to) |
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It'll only take just grazing the top of the water to completely foul up your stroke. |
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But [RS], now you get to design a new golf club as well. This has a honeycomb head, so that you can strike the water with minimal frontal resistance. The hollow honeycomb channels are aligned toward the ball, so water passes right through the clubhead, but the ball doesn't. To make it heavy enough, just build the honeycomb out of tungsten. Now I think of it, this might work to reduce air resistance on a normal terrestrial club as well. |
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Well, we do have to do something with Manitoba, thats for
sure. And Saskatchewan, while we're on the topic. |
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When the ball lies in a fairway puddle, after heavy rain, the unwritten rule in Thailand is to drop the ball elsewhere. I wonder why that is? When hitting the ball out of very soft, water-logged ground I have always had great difficulty (I mean, more than usual).
By the way, `
No snorkels allowed in the clubhouse.
No dripping, discharging of gas cylinders, no spitting in masks.
Fish have right of way.
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A ball travelling across the surface of the water tends to suck down into the water (Coanda effect, attached flow and all that). You'll probably have a hell of a time hitting a low trajectory shot out of water. The cart-raft should be fitted with a ball-scoop and a bit of turf. |
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Could you image the cries of distress "Oh no its gone onto the dry" |
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Wintertime in Arctic you can play on the lake ice and drill holes directly to the ice using hand drill used be fishermen.
The ball obvoiusly needs to be other than white in colour. |
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