Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Always-Legal Fuzzbuster

 Use food to stealthify your car against police radar and laser
 
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We've all felt the panic that occurs when passing a police car on the highway that we didn't see until too late. Yes, there are plenty of expensive devices that can beep at you as an early warning, but because of unabated advances in police speed detection technology, there are now "instant-on" radars and lasers. With these weapons, your detector may as well give you an estimate of your ticket amount and present your driver's license (but that's another idea...) Anyway, back to the original idea. Everyone knows that food absorbs microwave energy in a microwave oven and heats up. Why not affix food to the outside of your car to absorb the police radar or laser energy and convert it into harmless warming? Picture driving on the highway and passing a car with bacon or ravioli tiled on its surface like space shuttle tiles. Voila! Now the car is impervious to speed traps!
—Quispy, Jan 09 2004

How about just grass? http://barometer.or...10/22/3f96a8365e5b3
Service provided free of charge for ellis [Freefall, Oct 04 2004]

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       And dinner's ready the moment you get home!
—phundug, Jan 09 2004
   

       That sounds nazz-tay !
—k_sra, Jan 09 2004
   

       I tried to link earlier to a new law in UK saying that a driver is liable to a fine for parking more that 50 cms from the curb but I couldn't find it. a couple of melons to measure this distance would be mighty handy!
—po, Jan 09 2004
   

       Damn, I tried it and, damn damn damn, now I’ve got squirrels all over my car. <driving along slowly, yelling at hood rodents>
—pluterday, Jan 09 2004
   

       "Quick, honey, the seagulls are gaining on us!!"
<children screaming in the background>
—Letsbuildafort, Jan 09 2004
   

       tsuka, you are a strange person but I like you!
—po, Jan 09 2004
   

       How about just grass
http://barometer.orst.edu/vnews/display.v/ART/2003/10/22/3f96a8365e5b3
—ellis, Jan 09 2004
   

       plute, "hood rodents" deserves its own entry.
—waugsqueke, Jan 09 2004
   

       Couldn't a system like this be abused? I mean, say a trucker has spent the last 12 hours traveling north on interstate 5, in California, (one of the US' main transportation arteries) and as Murphy's Law would see to it; Because he's a paranoid driver he has therefore been expressly targetted by state troopers...   

       Would his melons explode?
—Tiger Lily, Jan 09 2004
   

       Finally, a use for all this recalled mad cow beef.
—Laughs Last, Jan 09 2004
   

       <echo> Hey, [Freefall], get your own catch-phrases! </e>
—Letsbuildafort, Jan 09 2004
   

      

Melons, huh?

That got me to thinking. So I ordered an enormous pumpkin. My godmother hollowed it out; it took her a week. (If you want a pie, let me know.) Anyway, she had wheels put on it, borrowed some horses, hired an out of work Algerian cabbie, and off I went, wearing my glass slippers. And it worked, sort of. I didn’t get a ticket for speeding—pumpkins are slow fruit. But I got pulled anyway, and the cop was most unpleasant, pointing at the road behind me, asking me who I thought I was and all. Me! Pluterella! My driver pretended he didn’t understand English, so there I was, a princess in her lovely gown, on her way to the ball, wielding a shovel on the motorway.

—pluterday, Jan 12 2004
   

       <echo>slaps LBaF</echo>
—po, Jan 12 2004
   

       <echo> ow! </e>
—Letsbuildafort, Jan 12 2004
   

       It would be a source of food for starving, huddled masses that are forced to wander through barren car parks stacked with SUVs. Charitable people could also combine soup kitchens with parking by placing such cars in local ghettoes.
—Aristotle, Jan 12 2004
   


 

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