Alternate Ending Wedding DVD's

The otherwise normal-looking wedding invitation was addressed 'to Mr. and Mrs. Brian and Megan Coffeefield, their creative muses, alter egos, and to the angels and devils whispering in their ears.'

Mrs. Coffeefield opened it tenuously. The invitation was from her youngest cousin Beatrice, the one who had abandoned college to run off with her then-boyfriend on some startup business flop of his involving drink mix sales. She breathed a sigh of relief, however, to discover that Roland's(copywright UB) name was nowhere to be found. Perhaps Beatrice Jean McKutcheon had wised up and found a more respectable man in this Roger Edward Clifton. She could only hope. Beatrice's last several boyfriends had been rather lacking in respectability.

The details of the ceremony were straightforward enough, but the reception checkbox seemed to have been replaced with a 'creative memory event' checkbox. Megan shook the envelope again, and another card fell out onto the floor.

'Hello, wedding invitee!' read Beatrice's loopy handwriting. 'Since Roger is studying to be a filmmaker,' oh great, another deadbeat, thought Megan, 'we thought we would have some fun with our wedding video by creating several alternate wedding ceremony endings to record, with each one a bit more interesting than the last one.' 'Oh Lord,' thought Megan. 'Who would do this to their wedding?' By 'interesting,' Megan knew exactly what Beatrice meant; bizarre, slowly degenerative twists on a proper ceremony until the final version should resemble a silly catastrophe, which in a sad sort of way, it already was. She could see the cheesy scenes already: in the takes after the real ceremony, the parents would decide not to hold their peace, the groom would scream and run at the vows, the maid of honor would kiss the preacher, the bride would walk in totally sloshed, the groom would grab the best man's ass, everybody would be wearing pirate patches....

The card continued: 'Please bring your costume, which can be reserved at Roland's Adult Novelty, Live Bait, and Tackle.'

Megan looked at her calendar. Although nothing was listed for the wedding date, she checked the 'regrets' box anyway.