Alimentary my Dear Watson

Often when I am out running, I pick up a piece of gravel in my shoe, and have to hobble along before finally admitting defeat and stop to get it out. At times like these I long to have a pair of shoes, such as those referred to by the venerable Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson in this recently uncovered tale.

Holmes and Watson were out walking. There was a difficult case to discuss that would involve the close following of a wary suspect, with therefore no room for hesitation or distraction. As they walked, bracing their umbrellas resolutely through the drifting rain, Holmes announced unexpectedly "I've just picked up a stone in my shoe." "That's very tiresome Holmes, and on such a wet night, your feet will surely get soaked when you take off the shoe to shake it out," replied the ever attentive Watson. "Not only that Watson, but had we been actually trailing someone, this sort of thing would have all the potential to become a real problem, but fortunately I have the perfect solution to this very situation..." Holmes began to walk swiftly forward, ahead of his friend, rocking the affected shoe from side to side, and taking strangely exaggerated strides. "Now look closely Watson" he exclaimed, and just then the offending stone emerged from a small orifice sited at the back of the shoe, and dropped unto the ground. Holmes swiftly picked it up and placed it carefully in his top pocket. "That's a most remarkable trick Holmes. How did you do that?" - "All will be revealed in good time Watson"....

Later that evening as Watson was relaxing in front of the fire, Holmes took off his shoe to disclose its secret. The sole of the shoe was divided down the centre by a meridian running from the front to the back. Each half of which was covered in rows of short hairs, all angled towards the centre in such a way as to direct any object trapped between the foot and the shoe towards the central meridian. "Now observe what happens when I replace this same piece of gravel back into the central canal and flex the sole Watson, just as you witnessed earlier when we were walking." Lining the meridian were tiny concealed tubes of fluid, powered through valves by the exagerated flexing. The stone was conveyed inexorably towards the rear of the shoe by a rhythmic peristaltic motion. On reaching the heel the contentious stone was disgorged through a downwardly pointing diminutive anus.

"That's brilliant Holmes, just brilliant" - "Alimentary my dear Watson, alimentary"