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I am a great fan of single-malt Scotch whiskies and other spirituous liquors, but one unfortunate effect of drinking too much of these products is the inordinate drunkenness they produce.
My idea is this: a ring that fits around the throat and scans the liquid passing through it for the alcohol
molecule. You may set the ring to allow anywhere from 100% to zero percent of the spirit to pass into your inner chamber.
Now you may guzzle Scotch as if it were beer, or beer as if it were spring water. This is possible under existing technology.
Sober
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Sober(tm)
"Sobriety in a can!"
More traditional hasten-alcohol-metabolization approach. [Monkfish, Jan 30 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
"So, this parasitic worm walks into a bar..."
http://www.google.c...&btnG=Google+Search
The Twilight Zone version. Hey, not quite relevant, but I was proud that I could find this. Google rooles. [centauri, Jan 30 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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"This is possible under existing technology"? No, it's not. |
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No, I must insist that it's possible. |
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Where does this unwanted alcohol go to? Is this some sort of electric scanner or are you thinking of some sort of semi-permiable membrane? |
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Careful what you wish for...maybe you only like Scotch because you are generally too inebriated to notice the taste. |
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Oh, no, because first you taste it; then you get drunk. |
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The alcohol would be scanned off, pumped out, and stored in a flask in the chest area. You could call this purified spirit "throat vodka." |
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Note to self: look into creating Whiskey Lite to meet this newly emerging market... |
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Sorry, Pete. There are two points to drinking: drunkenness and flavor. To me, flavor is more important, thus this idea. It is obvious that drunkenness is more important to you. Keep drinking Old Milwaukee, buddy. |
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[Vance] Unless you explain what you mean by 'scanning' I will have to believe that drunkenness is unknowingly very important to you and in no small part responsible for this idea. |
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Seems like we're getting new drinking terms here. Imagine a drinking contest:
Drunk 1: Dude, check out that guy! He just chugged 2 pints!
Drunk 2: Nah, he's no real chugger. He's just a measly scanner.
Drunk 1: Scan? |
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[Hint: Please explain the mechanics of scanning. Will this flask have to be stored in a lung, or what?] |
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A field is produced by the ring that has an affinity for the alcohol moluecule. This molecule is scanned out of the liquid to produce throat vodka. |
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A field? What, like a magnetic field or something? I've never seen a magnet that attracts alcohol. |
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I'm guessing it could be done with some kind of chemical filter. But that's because I know less about chemistry than about physics. |
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They only magnets I can think of that attract alcohol are alcoholics. Maybe we could shrink alcoholics down to nano-scale, for nano-technology drunk-free drinking. Otherwise, I don't see how the "existing" technology would work. |
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Hey, "shrinking alcoholics to nanoscale" is pretty much the plot of Innerspace (1987)... |
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Wow, I haven't thought about that movie in years. You've reminded me of that scene where (is it Dennis Quaid?) the shrunk guy puts out an empty bottle to get a drink. |
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Many of you seem against whisky. This is a shame, for whisky is quite a good drink. |
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FIRST TIME POSTER:
I can see one way to make the device viable. If a drinker turns it on before each drink, then the alcohol could bypass the throat. Once the alcohol enters the device there are several option for alcohol separation: gentle heat alcohol evaporation and recondensation, reverse osmosis alcohol filtration, or just plain ole dilution. Afterwards, alcoholic drink with significantly reduced %ethanol can be released directly into the stomache. Of course all this can be avoided if the "taster" does just that, and spits the alcohol he does not wish to consume. |
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I'm a whiskey kind of gal. But the only reason I like whiskey is that the second you taste it, you understand that you're going to be very, VERY drunk later... |
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Old Premonition, Aged 25 Years. |
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[re: Note to self: look into creating Whiskey Lite to meet this newly emerging market...] |
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Depressingly enough, there is already a couple kinds of Lite Vodka on the market. Following the trend of lite beers, it is marketed as having less calories. However, they acieve this the very same way, there is less alcohol, it comes in at about 25%. And to think, all the effort people have put into making alcohol stronger. |
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Well, perhaps you could use
something with affinity for the
hydroxide group (OH-) to draw out
the alcohol - although I don't
know which has a greater
equivalent electronegativity, the
CH3-CH2 ethyl group or the
hydrogen. Probably the H. In any
case, you'd end up with either
some detached ethyl groups
floating around, or some hydrogen
gas (q.v. hydrogen beer, darwin
awards). |
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Either way, you wouldn't get drunk
off it. Although the ethyl would be
horribly reactive. |
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//No, I must insist that it's possible.// |
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[Vance] - you still haven't pointed out how. A magic field doesn't really cut it. |
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//And to think, all the effort people have put into making alcohol stronger.// |
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At the other end of the Lite Alcohol spectrum is Bicardi 151° over-proofed white rum, at 75.5% by volume, a fire retardant bottle and a hazard label on the neck. |
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"It is recommended that you mix BACARDI 151° with cola or fruit juices." |
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151? That's it? Hell, we own some
192 proof (96% pure) stuff that
can't really be classified as any
type at all (rum, whisky, vodka,
etc.) - I hae no idea what it's made
from. However, it is quite
consumable if you follow the
recipe on the back - I think it's 2
cups orange juice to a tablespoon
of this stuff. |
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Can't buy it anymore, though. I
think we picked it up in Montréal. |
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//I think we picked it up in Montréal.// |
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That was a petrol station, [MacWarrior]. |
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Heh. Heh-heh. I like that, detly.
However, it was ethanol, not
antifreeze. |
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//"shrinking alcoholics to nanoscale" is pretty much the plot of Innerspace (1987)// [Jutta]; I have never seen that film, so in the spirit of this idea, I claim, from a position of complete ignorance, that your interpretation is based on mis-hearing the line, "Woah, man, I'm so shrunk!". |
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// from a position of complete ignorance // |
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That assertion is redundant in your case, shirley ? |
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This would work in all ways except all. |
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//Many of you seem against whisky.// |
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I'm not against whiskey. I like whiskey, especially of the
Irish variety. In fact, I haven't seen anybody here say
anything against whiskey. No, the major theme of
complaint, if there is one, seems to be that you still
haven't explained how this thing works!! Repeated
insistence that something exists is not a primary requisite
for its supposed existence! |
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Let's put it another way: if I phone up the circus right now
and say, "I've got a man here with me who says he wants
to be a lion tamer," I very much doubt that their first
question is going to be "does he have his own hat?" |
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If he couldn't be bothered to clarify his idea any time in
the last 10 years, I sort of doubt he's going to do so now. |
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Alcohol _oxidising_ guzzling aid FTW. |
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[ytk] I know, I just can't resist a good bandwagon. |
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You can see it coming and so you should get the baldheaded bastard his own hat before you call. If his lack of hat scotches the whole deal he is going to be sleeping on your couch for another three months. |
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