h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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Airhead Truncheon is the name given to a new ultra
compact bicycle pump that has a hidden weaponising
feature.
There's nothing new about compact bicycle pumps, but
this
one doubles up as an effective weapon due to the
additional feature of being telescopic.
Twisting the carrying handle
to the left allows the pump
to
be used normally to inflate your tyres; twisting to the
right
enables you to deftly release the device's spring loaded
telescopic tubes into their full length for the purposes of
wielding it as a protective truncheon.
Note - not intended for whirling around your head and
screaming Dada Haikus as you hurtle towards a horde of
lager louts who are trying to block your way, but comes
with full instructions as to how this may be achieved.
Frame mounted pump from a better time.
http://lh5.ggpht.co...50_02dec2006c15.jpg
[bs0u0155, Jan 19 2022]
[link]
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Look at the title of the web page for a clue. |
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Really? Have you read them all? If you start today
and read one a day it will take you four years to
get through the ones posted so far. |
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The lightweight pump-as-truncheon is not problem,it's a feature. The bicycle pump function is modified (eg: twist counterclockwise?) so when unfolded, the far-reaching (away from your own face) 'Truncheon mode' crushes a small hidden vial to release sleeping gas right under your attacker's nose. |
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I'd search for 'high-potency sleeping gas', but then the Internet Police would be at my door, asking uncomfortable questions with pointy objects that may go off accidentally. |
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I see no reason not to include this as a variation,
but equally no reason as to why the truncheon
cannot be made of a suitably dense metal for its
more basic skull cracking function. Carrying
additional weight simply not an issue on a sturdy
policeman's bicycle. |
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If weight is not an issue then what is the big deal with collapsability and compactness? Just have a full sized solid lead truncheon with a pump inside. In fact have both side by side. |
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Or is the whole point that this is for the use of airheads? |
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Length is the thing on a bike. You want your pump
to be compact to make it more able to be carried
around with you when the bike is parked. |
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You don't need the whole pump to be heavy; just the "business end".
Think "golf club" not "baseball bat".
Also, extend then twist to lock (for "business"...); don't want it
collapsing mid-strike. |
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How long do you want your truncheon to be? |
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//Length is the thing on a bike. You want your pump to be
compact to make it more able to be carried around with
you when the bike is parked.// |
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Well, back when society was civilized we didn't have to
remove all non-bolted objects from our bicycles and a
usefully large pump the length of the down tube could be
carried <link>. |
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Unfortunately, standards have slipped since then and now
we have to squirrel away our pumps and lights before MIG
welding the frame to a metallurgically-compatible railing if
we're to avoid the consequences brought by the local scum
bags. |
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Just park your bike next to a nicer one |
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What are these 'bike' things that you keep referring to? Do we
have those in America? Only two wheels? How do they keep
from falling over? Where is the gas tank? Where is the gun
rack? Ball hitch? How do you lock it into 4WD with only 2
wheels? So many questions... |
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How do you avoid freezing/boiling in a country that takes
seasons far too seriously? |
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