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Airhead Truncheon

telescopic bicycle pump baton
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Airhead Truncheon is the name given to a new ultra compact bicycle pump that has a hidden weaponising feature.

There's nothing new about compact bicycle pumps, but this one doubles up as an effective weapon due to the additional feature of being telescopic.

Twisting the carrying handle to the left allows the pump to be used normally to inflate your tyres; twisting to the right enables you to deftly release the device's spring loaded telescopic tubes into their full length for the purposes of wielding it as a protective truncheon.

Note - not intended for whirling around your head and screaming Dada Haikus as you hurtle towards a horde of lager louts who are trying to block your way, but comes with full instructions as to how this may be achieved.

xenzag, Jan 15 2022

Frame mounted pump from a better time. http://lh5.ggpht.co...50_02dec2006c15.jpg
[bs0u0155, Jan 19 2022]

[link]






       You're so practical.
xenzag, Jan 15 2022
  

       Look at the title of the web page for a clue.
xenzag, Jan 15 2022
  

       Really? Have you read them all? If you start today and read one a day it will take you four years to get through the ones posted so far.
xenzag, Jan 15 2022
  

       The lightweight pump-as-truncheon is not problem,it's a feature. The bicycle pump function is modified (eg: twist counterclockwise?) so when unfolded, the far-reaching (away from your own face) 'Truncheon mode' crushes a small hidden vial to release sleeping gas right under your attacker's nose.   

       I'd search for 'high-potency sleeping gas', but then the Internet Police would be at my door, asking uncomfortable questions with pointy objects that may go off accidentally.
Sgt Teacup, Jan 15 2022
  

       I see no reason not to include this as a variation, but equally no reason as to why the truncheon cannot be made of a suitably dense metal for its more basic skull cracking function. Carrying additional weight simply not an issue on a sturdy policeman's bicycle.
xenzag, Jan 15 2022
  

       If weight is not an issue then what is the big deal with collapsability and compactness? Just have a full sized solid lead truncheon with a pump inside. In fact have both side by side.   

       Or is the whole point that this is for the use of airheads?
pocmloc, Jan 15 2022
  

       Length is the thing on a bike. You want your pump to be compact to make it more able to be carried around with you when the bike is parked.
xenzag, Jan 15 2022
  

       You don't need the whole pump to be heavy; just the "business end". Think "golf club" not "baseball bat".
Also, extend then twist to lock (for "business"...); don't want it collapsing mid-strike.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 15 2022
  

       How long do you want your truncheon to be?
pocmloc, Jan 15 2022
  

       //Length is the thing on a bike. You want your pump to be compact to make it more able to be carried around with you when the bike is parked.//   

       Well, back when society was civilized we didn't have to remove all non-bolted objects from our bicycles and a usefully large pump the length of the down tube could be carried <link>.   

       Unfortunately, standards have slipped since then and now we have to squirrel away our pumps and lights before MIG welding the frame to a metallurgically-compatible railing if we're to avoid the consequences brought by the local scum bags.
bs0u0155, Jan 19 2022
  

       Just park your bike next to a nicer one
pocmloc, Jan 19 2022
  

       What are these 'bike' things that you keep referring to? Do we have those in America? Only two wheels? How do they keep from falling over? Where is the gas tank? Where is the gun rack? Ball hitch? How do you lock it into 4WD with only 2 wheels? So many questions...
RayfordSteele, Jan 19 2022
  

       //So many questions...//   

       How do you avoid freezing/boiling in a country that takes seasons far too seriously?
bs0u0155, Jan 19 2022
  
      
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