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AeroDash

 Streamline the body for faster running
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Amaze friends and outclass competitors by employing the AeroDash method and equipment. Ever wonder why bicyclists, skaters and skiers race along in streamlined postures, while upright runners are slowed by the drag of air friction?

AeroDash is based on making the body aerodynamic by running with a horizontal torso. This technique is not practiced today, since it requires training with the correct gear. Our secret is the patented, Centered Length On Weight Neutral shoe with a special, 3-inch, toe extension to support your shifted center of gravity.

Also included in our system is the dashing body-suit with inflatable, aerodynamic hood bun and butt bustle to further increase your speed. An animated instruction video, with subtitles in four popular languages, will be added at no extra price. Order within 10 days and we’ll throw in 2-foot, training canes.

You get all this, the shoes, body-suit, video and canes, for only 199.95 in four popular currencies. The sooner you send in the form, the sooner you’ll be easily bowing down to accept your gold medal.

—FarmerJohn, Mar 24 2003

a still from the instruction video http://www.geocitie...hnnie/aerodash.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Looks like a straight riff on speed skating. Might work if the soles of the shoes are greased.
—dalek, Mar 24 2003
   

       This could make the hurdles interesting.
—sufc, Mar 24 2003
   

       So we're running in clown shoes, are we? Any chance I can pay in Turkish Lira?
—phoenix, Mar 24 2003
   

       You can have the kit for free since you saw the acronym, but you must promise to wear it in public.
—FarmerJohn, Mar 24 2003
   

       Heh. I actually didn't see the acronym (and had to hunt for it after you mentioned it), or at least not consciously. It was the 3" toe extension I keyed on.   

       I'll wear them in public if you'll sign them.
—phoenix, Mar 24 2003
   

       heh, and there's film ready in the brownie.
—po, Mar 24 2003
   

       Hey! Butt cracks go from innies to outies.
—phoenix, Mar 24 2003
   

       It's a gay elf!
—FloridaManatee, Mar 25 2003
   

       One of the funnier illustrtions, for a not so great idea!
—blissmiss, Nov 06 2004
   
      
[annotate]
   


 

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