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Abduction Dentistry

 Was that a root canal, or just a dream?
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Everybody hates going to the dentist. "Abduction Dentistry" would function similarly to an alien abduction. Dental assistants would break into your home at night, drug you, perform your check up, cavity fills, root canals, etc. and return you to your sleeping bed, with your memory erased. Thankfully, it would require hypnosis or regression therapy (two easy things to avoid) to bring back the memories of going to the dentist. The bill would come in the mail.
—slacy, Apr 12 2003

Perhaps previously abducted... http://www.halfbake...tist-Alien_20Theory
[ldischler, Oct 04 2004]

New teeth http://www.halfbake...idea/Animal_20Teeth
If you would like to have fangs [DesertFox, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Ha! I'd start keeping a shotgun under the bed.
—DrCurry, Apr 12 2003
   

       Should I leave a cheque under the pillow for this evil tooth fairy?
—Twibble, Apr 12 2003
   

       Would they probe your sexual organs?
—pluterday, Apr 12 2003
   

       Tonight, on "Intruders"... an interview with a woman who claims to have been abducted by dentists at least six times since childhood.   

       Boy, I'm glad aliens don't bill you later. ka-ching!
—waugsqueke, Apr 12 2003
   

       Bet the air miles would sure add up though.   

       Okay, one posting isn't anything. But two of the same oddball subject, and I'm going to consider taking my toaster with me to the dentist's office. That's how they communicate, you know. Three and I'm moving to Roswell...
—RayfordSteele, Apr 13 2003
   

       Last night I dreamed I was opening a door and was attacked by a zombie in advanced state of decay. I woke myself up when I kicked out (luckily I was lying on my back) swearing in a foreign language, both of which are fairly unusual for me. Then I realised it was the early hours of a Monday morning and it all made sense.   

       The point is, what failed is sleep paralysis, the phenomenon that prevents you from strangling your family in your sleep. Many abduction 'experiences' have been shown to be associated with sleep paralysis, in this case, the subject's regaining partial consciousness when sleep paralysis is still in effect.   

       And for the record, the only definitive proof of whether you've been operated on by alien dentists is the handwriting on the bill in the mail. If it's legible, it's an alien.
—FloridaManatee, Apr 13 2003
   

       //what failed is sleep paralysis, the phenomenon that prevents you from strangling your family in your sleep.//
You say that like it's a bad, er, good, er bad, er good... thing
—thumbwax, Apr 14 2003
   

       "Was that a root canal, or just a dream?" You never had a root canal done, then?! sure, while the anaesthetic is still working you might feel fine, bit of a fat face, dribble while you talk, etc., but when it's gone you feel like you've had a sledgehammer to the jaw. I had six fillings done in one visit a couple of months ago, spread around top and bottom, both sides, and thought I'd be back at work in the afternoon after taking my lunch privately. Boy was I *sorely* mistaken. You're going to have to have a 24-hour abduction at least, to be able to "erase memory" of root canals, which, when I last looked, was at the negligible end of the realms of possibility.
on the other hand, it would make the 'and finally' stories on the local news stations quite fun... "...today, a local man was describing the mysterious chain of events leading to his miraculous transformation from rodent-featured recluse into a gleaming-smile toothpaste advertising model..."
—badgers, Apr 14 2003
   

       What would said kidnappers do if, say, the "customer" gets so scared that they poop their pants before they can get the person into the chair? Surely the doctor won't want to stand in the same room at THAT point. Considering my reactions when severely scared, I wouldn't risk it. Chances are, they'd still bill me, but just leave me to sit in my own stink back in my bed! I could do that for free!
—Bowner42, Apr 14 2003
   

       You left the "r" out of your nic.
—thumbwax, Apr 14 2003
   

       The abducting dentists erase your memory right? Then what keeps them from just billing you without even abducting/treating you? This idea might lead to a new tye of cheating dentists.
—Pericles, Apr 14 2003
   

       "No, really, officer. I'm a dentist, I have a license for that Rohypnol, and the unconscious woman in my back seat is a patient. Honest."
—Guncrazy, Apr 15 2003
   

       "I need suction!"
—AfroAssault, Apr 16 2003
   
      
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