h a l f b a k e r yBunned. James Bunned.
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Children used to be sent up the extensive chimney systems in Victorian England to clean the soot and tar deposits from their congested flues.
Obviously this is not "the done thing" anymore, (how tiresome) but there is no real substitute capable of carrying out the cleaning work so effectively, until
now.
At this point we need to look Boston Dynamics who have created the most amazing walking, running, jumping robots. It is therefore well within their capabilities to produce a small mechanical child that can be dispatched up a chimney. Suitably equipped with a sweeping brush head, and a "bump and go" navigation system that permits them to wander the convolutions of a complex chimney network with total autonomy, A Small Crawling Child will scrape clean even the most dirty and dangerous chimneys of a grand house.
Coming soon "Rat In A Drain", which is a similar idea, but only for soil pipes and other drainage systems.
http://www.victoria...torian-child-labor/
[xenzag, Mar 24 2016]
[link]
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One widely-used solution was to drop a live chicken
(or goose) down the chimney. It supposedly worked
fairly well. |
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Pigeons are cheap and effective. Catch the pigeon and tie string round its legs. Put in fireplace, close off with fireguard. Pigeon flaps its way up flue & out of pot. Retrive by pulling string - repeat until no more soot falls. Light fire, enjoy roast pigeon. |
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Dropping a live cat down a chimney is less effective, but much more fun. |
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I can also think of a few people who should be "chimney
hauled". This a similar process to that of keel hauling
except the rope is fed through the chimney network, then
one end of it is attached to the miscreant's feet, and they
are dragged backwards through the various passages. A
more comprehensive punishment adds the local sewer
system to the repeated journey. |
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Tssk. You vegetarians have so much latent
aggression. |
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A deluxe model with cameras and lights would let the customer see the state of their chimney. Sell one inspection robot with every ten cleaning bots. |
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Good luck ( and some soot) will rub off if you shake hands with them. |
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