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Specification IEEE 45900-62X-0017
Dated: January 2015 (The year in which robots were supposed
to
be smart enough to think for themselves)
Title: ANNOY - Answering Service
Description: A standard for real aggravating Integrated Voice
Response
systems.
110. System Requirements
110.1 Opening message:
110.1.1 The opening message will contain a short musical which
following several repetitions has the effect of causing a piercing
earache.
110.1.2 The music played shall not in any way disclose the
identification of the
answering service responding to the listener's call.
110.1.3 At least one lapse of sound will be heard, when the
listener expects to hear the name of the service, and after the
words "You have reached". A preferable implementation would
be
for the audio to suddenly become barely audible, and
completely
indiscernible.
110.1.4 The options will be read out rapidly, with the number
at
the end of the sentence.
110.1.5 In any case the user will hear that for receiving the
service they called for they must hang up and call a different
number, which brings them back exactly to this service.
110.1.6 The voice message must convey that they are
important
to the company and that the company will answer them
immediately.
110.1.6.1 Because
the callers time is precious to the company, the caller is given
an option to leave a phone
number. This process should take at least 5 minutes. The
reading
of the numbers should be extremely slow, and finally the caller
will be told that you will get back to them withing 24 hours,
during the work hours.
[link]
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Yea, but you're the one that called. You're just never sure
you got to the right place, and redialing won't help the
situation in any way. |
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