h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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Only make 8 mortgage payments a year....only pay your credit card 8 times a year.....AND STILL GET A PAYCHECK EVERY TWO WEEKS!
Months of 45 days each with five "free days" left over for a good vacation. (don't give me the crap about montly payments being higher because of the added days contributing
to the daily percentage rate....I know. I just hate writing checks and stamping envelops. I would pay the higher charges to not have to deal with stuff so often)
It amazes me that people want more months! More darn payments to make. While we're at it....I need 40 hours in my days and at least 30 those need to be daylight.
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You, ma'am, sound like you could use an automatic online bill payment service. |
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This is GREAT!!! Here's the plan: First we have to
lengthen the Moon's orbital period. (A month's not one of
those arbitrary periods like weeks. OK, some have
become a little distorted over time but we're ditching all
that anyway.) No, don't slow it down, that will make it
drop closer. We'll have to move it to a higher orbit.
Damn! Can't find my Physics books - shouldn't have moved,
too much stuff in boxes. Doesn't matter, we can just get
a *really* long stick and keep pushing at it until it looks
right. |
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Once the Moon has been adjusted we can sit back and
relax. With only 8 mortgage payments per year we'll have
more money to spend... until the next payment is due
since it will be proportionally higher because the bank
will still want the same amount from you per year. We
can always relax someplace cheap. Beaches are good and
with the Moon further away those annoying tides and
waves might be a little smaller. |
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Then we'll have to decide which of the months' names will
be dropped from the calendar. Nobody will want the
month their birthday is in dropped. Maybe we can come
up with new names, perhaps sell the naming rights to the
highest bidders. There could be Coketober,
Microsoftember, DECember, Disney, AuGates (you know
he'd buy more than one). |
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Think of the paper we'd save printing calendars! Only
eight big glossy pages. We could use that paper to print
guides to translating old-style dates to new ones. |
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Why do months have to be based on a lunar cycle...who cares? So we get two full moons in a month...days are days.... we have the power to lump them together however we choose. My point is, with TWO postings advocating 13 months in a year....why would that be better than 8? |
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Not quite half-baked yet, but getting there. Why stop at eight months? Have only one month in the year and you'll only have to make one set of monthly payments. Or better still, do away with months (and monthly payments) altogether.
Personally I'd prefer to just have the four seasons (currently the Rainy Season, The Warmish Season, The Very Rainy Season and the Cold Season).
Also, I like the idea of sirrobin's stick. Once he's finished poking at the moon, can I borrow it? There are a few troublesome countries I'd like to prod at. |
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Dr Bob: OK, you can borrow the stick but I need it back
before the 42nd of AOL-TimeWarnerary so I can set up a
Sony Fool's Day joke. |
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DrBob: I live in Florida, and we only have two seasons. 'Goddamn hot!' and 'Miserably hot'. Occasionally it rains... |
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Can I have that stick after Starbuckgust? |
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Oh, right doing away with all months! now that's a good idea. You could use the Julien calendar, and just have the first through the threehundredfiftysixth of the year. That how we did things in shipping and recieving... |
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//first through the threehundredfiftysixth of the year// thereby giving yourself ten or eleven days in hand? |
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I can see that being very useful - you'd have un-numbered days that no-one else could access, and intercalate them when needed, to perform nefarious acts, avoid tax and other commitments, or just catch up on sleep. |
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'Now see here Mr. xiv, our records show that you were illegally parked here on ... oh - no date. I guess we can't prosecute.' |
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