h a l f b a k e r yJust add oughta.
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The divers path through the fountain hits the slowest
moving,
sparsest water at the top then descends through the faster,
more dense water flow towards the bottom. This increased
resistance is progressive giving a survivable slow down
curve.
It would also be cone shaped so faster water flow
was on
the
outside directing the diver into the interior.
[link]
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Extra bun if the user, having been entrained by the flow, falls into a plunge pool with a U-bend underneath that arises in a large separate pool from which water is constantly extracted by powerful pumps to maintain the waterfall, thus sustaining the fast flow through the "U". |
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From the title I thought this would be about old, wizened high-divers sitting around and sharing 50 stories about high-diving, for the entertainment of an audience - however, it is possible you meant "storey" rather than "story"... |
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[Hip], you have to remember the poor fellow isn't English, and doesn't speak the language very well ... |
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...hence the public service I provide... |
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Yes, yes, fine, but you have to keep it very simple. Don't employ irony; it causes him even more confusion. |
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Remember the rules; "No word more than three syllables, no sentence more than twelve words, no paragraph longer than three sentences. Eschew gerunds, the subjunctive, impersonal pronouns, the passive voice, tautological pleonasms, and especially irony." |
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Most of all, speak softly, and carry a big stick. |
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Hold on a moment here, [doc]. If the guy is diving into a
fountain, why not just increase the flow rate so that the diver
will come to a halt a few yards above the pool? |
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With a correctly engineered launch slide, the fountain could be both an architectural feature, a form of entertainment, and an escape system for tall buildings. |
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This would be a lovely thing to dive into. It would be
more dramatic if there was no fountain to start with,
and the fountain only started up when the diver was
in the air. |
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It would be even funnier* if the fountain shut off just after the diver had jumped. |
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*For a proportion of the onlookers, anyway. |
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//why not just increase the flow rate so that
the diver will come to a halt a few yards above the
pool?// |
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Well, you could certainly do that but eventually
he'd want to come down. |
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Unless we're talking about an above ground level
suspended or vertical pool made up of thousands
of fountains, which would actually be very cool. |
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If the fountains were slightly angled to one side, they would hold people up, but also move them sideways onto the adjacent fountain. If you have enough of these fountains, it becomes a form of mass-transportation. Cities of the future, instead of investing in the traditional big vanity-project monorail, will instead spend all their money on fountain-based city
mass-transit systems. |
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//fountain-based city mass-transit systems//
more of
Shelbyville idea, that one |
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Damn those fancy Shelbyville folk! |
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If the fountain was placed next to the twin towers nobody
would have been hurt. |
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The fact that no fountain was built there must be a conspiracy |
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"Deliberately not building a fountain" just goes to prove how fiendishly clever the conspiracy is. It just supports the contention that the towers were deliberately built that tall to make it easy to fly planes into them, which - in retrospect - is even more sinister. |
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I've always suspected the Wright brothers' intentions when they invented the aeroplane... |
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It's really shocking just how deep, and far back, the conspiracy goes. |
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It's clear that the people who insisted on moving away from intrinsically resistant designs like ziggurats and pyramids, and just said "Hey, why don't you save time and money by just building one room on top of another ?" were just part of the plan to murder people by tricking them into constructing tall buildings. |
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And those doing the tricking were probably Masons. Conspiracy, see ? All around you. |
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Do I need a license for breath retention? |
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Can't help thinking it's a long time anyone in the Masons has grasped a trowel and mortar. |
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If each level of the 50 Story thingie are 1cm thick contiguous, I might give it a go. |
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So is Fortnum in the clear? |
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