h a l f b a k e r ynon-lame halfbakery tagline
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Imagine, if you will, a store that looks like a lion has thrown up all over it. Well, sort of. As you walk in, the atmosphere has already begun to suck you in. Your pockets suddenly loosen their grip on your wallet.
The ground, which you just begin to realize is the floor, is brown and stony, and
the ceiling resembles a clear blue sky. The walls look like cliffs, and there are grassy huts that say "Changing Room" on them. A few trees are sparsely located, and circling around these are not hungry hyenas (OK I don't know if they live in veldts or not, but I do know they were in The Lion King) but rather clothing instead. Cool, wild, animal-themed clothing. You're like, "I gotta get me some 'o these." You can almost smell the lions' turds. The designer has even placed one lion turd on the floor for full effect, although this is entirely optional. You look around and it's not just clothes for sale. It's pillows, beddings, and 16" statues of various Big Cats. It's a giant Grass Hut Canopy Bed, or an inexpensive themed print to hang on your wall.
The store itself could be made stand-alone, or it could be fitted into an existing mall space. I hate to do this, but if I had to use existing models for reference, I'd say it's like a combo of Pier 1 Imports (a US thing, I think) and The Lion King.
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Kinda like how Banana Republic started out. Without the bedding. And before they discovered ties. |
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[Unabubba], since the store doesn't technically exist yet, and it will be a 100% nasty-middle- aged-target -audience-lycra-free shopping establishment if someone ever does build it, you cannot blame the Outfitters for those women in the ugly "catsuits." They've found their suppliers already. |
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I'd sit on a rock with you and drink from a coconut if you promise me we'll never see flocking yellow and green neon banana palm trees. |
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A. As I said, no lycra. That isn't to say that other stretchy materials like elastic won't appear, but I swear there shall be no lycra. |
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B. There are actually no palm trees in veldts, to my knowledge. In the interest of accuracy, no palm trees (especially neon glowing ones), coconuts, or other tropical memorabilia will appear. That could cause a pedant to come into the store and use one of those coconuts against me (assuming I happened to be in the store at the exact moment that he or she walked in). |
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