Chose one of your fellow halfbakers to help with your office related tasks. Chose carefully because they can only bring up advice that is already on the halfbakery. If you chose, for example, me, you would end up with nothing useful but you would get to read my brilliant ideas. For some reason starchaser might be more popular than me...

This has the added advantage of making word help totally indistinguishable from the halfbakery.
-- RobertKidney, Nov 25 2001

Oh joy. Just what I've always wanted to do, run a free Microsoft Windows tech support line.
-- jutta, Nov 25 2001


Hey, that's MY line!
-- StarChaser, Nov 25 2001


I'd opt for AffroAssault, probably not very productive but think of the mayhem the pair of us could cause
-- po, Nov 25 2001


Gets a pastry from me. Perfectly halfbaked.
-- bristolz, Nov 25 2001


That damned paperclip was consigned to the nether realm approximately four seconds after I found it, but a Halfbaker stand-in would be OK. (Can I have [bristolz]?) Just don't give me [RobertKidney] as a spell-checker.
-- angel, Nov 26 2001


I'll go for Vernon. Three hours later, I'll still be clueless, but I'll probably have forgotten whatever problem made me go to the Help in the first place by that time.
-- Guy Fox, Nov 26 2001


no change there then! touche!
-- po, Nov 26 2001


What little animation would you get with each baker? AfroAssault obviously explodes, and Vernon manages some kind of FTL travel. lewisgirl flourishes her shoes, and po rides her scooter round the screen. I'm thinking of PeterSealy as a web search engine, and lewisgirl as a spell-checker. Vernon would be like the Word summarize option, only in reverse.
-- pottedstu, Nov 26 2001


Yeah, but I wanted a *real* paperclip: "OK hold these. Yes, that's right only a little tighter. Good. Now step into this filing cabiniet."

On second thoughts the idea of buying a box of 200 curved loopy halfbakers does have some appeal. No idea what I'd do with them, though.
-- st3f, Nov 26 2001


I hate the bloody paperclip. I hate the whole concept of the paperclip. I like this idea though.
-- DrBob, Nov 26 2001


glad you didn't say I flourished my knickers, pottedstu.
Always willing to be of assistance, for spellchecking or even 'It looks like you're writing a letter. Can I mess it up for you?'
errant apostrophe, second last word, RT.
-- lewisgirl, Nov 26 2001


<< glad you didn't say I flourished my knickers, pottedstu. >>

No. That would be UnaBubba.
-- pottedstu, Nov 26 2001


But jutta, microsoft would be paying you royalties... or you could password protect the place - people have to get the password somehow... or maybe it could be downloaded as an add on for word by halfbakers only...

"iit luks like yu are trying to speeeeeel. wood you lyke some help?" - (the RK spell checker)
-- RobertKidney, Nov 26 2001


The PeterSealyClip: "It looks like you're trying to write something that's already been written before. Would you like me to yell 'Baked!'?"
-- PotatoStew, Nov 26 2001


I'll have the UnaBubba spellcheck assistant please...

"That's not a real word,
Even in poetry.
Can't let you use it,
If it's not in the diction'ry."

or...

"Hello comma.
Hello para.
Time to learn the
Rules of grammar."
-- DrBob, Nov 26 2001


Ah, but did you know that the paperclip was invented in the middle 1800's by a french chap, I believe it was Monsieur Cleep? He was always dogearing his papers and accidently ripping them. One day he had a piece wire in his hand he had found laying around his house and decided to use it to keep his papers together without damaging them. Being French, he decided to name his new device after himself - the PapierCleep, or the Papierclíp. When that got transfered into the english language it lost the accent over the 'i' and 'papier' was changed to 'paper.'
-- barnzenen, Nov 29 2001


...and an American invented the stapler...
-- phoenix, Nov 29 2001


Sorry [barnzenen] but waug's link has a little explenation... having 2 links to the same thing would be almost as daft as, say, an anotation to say that...
-- RobertKidney, Nov 30 2001


oh good. You'll be gone for a while then?

I'll freely offer my skills as the Cheeky Bitch paperclip.
-- lewisgirl, Nov 30 2001


The 'hippo' version - Puts the "er..." into paperclip.
-- hippo, Nov 30 2001


The CoolerKing version - Puts the "pap" into "paperclip".
-- CoolerKing, Nov 30 2001


<copy>The Guy Fox version - Puts the "ape" into "paperclip".<paste>
-- Guy Fox, Nov 30 2001


The Vernon version - Puts the "Better anti-gravity paperclip 25664 abstraction essay" into "paperclip".
-- hippo, Nov 30 2001


oh I see. The lg version puts the 'lip' into paperclip.
-- lewisgirl, Nov 30 2001


There's only one lewisgirl, luckily.
-- hippo, Nov 30 2001


oi. enough of that, or you'll be buying your own drinks in January.
-- lewisgirl, Nov 30 2001


I'm still waiting for the guy to put the music into country music.
-- pottedstu, Nov 30 2001


Not enough room, they have to take the whining out first...
-- StarChaser, Dec 01 2001


Rods, once upon a time Roseanne Cash used to say she was that other guy. Not that she said she was a guy.
-- beauxeault, Dec 01 2001



random, halfbakery