A device with two nozzle-turrets, one on the front and one on the top. First you tell the software where and what all of your plants are in relation to a central point. The onboard database of watering needs for specific plants will tell the ballistic routines how long to apply a stream, and how thick the stream should be (for more "penetrating" waterings and/or wind compensation). Soil and mulch type can be specified as well. The device will fire a burst of water, and ask you to measure the distance of the spot it makes from a few other known points. The device may tell you to adjust it's location a bit.
The device is ready to water your garden. You will have to get up early if you left the default watering time (5am). Watch as torrents of laminar flowing water ascend (lit from the inside, of course). And descend upon your garden. Wind? No problem! If the ballistic routines cannot correct for this, the device will simply wait for the wind to stop.
Onboard weather instruments can read data into variables used by the watering program to account for rain. Alternatively, you can put probes in your garden at specific plants and run the insulated wires under the mulch to a patchbay on the device for more professional results.-- fishboner, Jan 07 2010 Intelligent sprinkler Intelligent_20sprinklerMy version just adjusts for the wind. [phoenix, Jan 07 2010] Forget the wind, get me the indoor version. And DEFINITELY add the random cat auto-targetting feature. I'll even make is easy and give them RFID or IR blinking LED collars. What is the max range for a small dollop of water? The dogs would love it too, but they'd think it's food and catch it in their mouths.-- MisterQED, Jan 07 2010 Disneyworld used to have a fountain system which shot little dollops of water like 30 feet, much the same way I'm picturing. Love the cat cannon addition.-- fishboner, Jan 07 2010 I like this. How about a roof-mounted icicle machine-gun?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2010 icicle bullets. ouch. No evidence. Baked in an old episode of Murder She Wrote-- fishboner, Jan 08 2010 That one goes back a lot further than that. Probably as far as ice and anger.-- normzone, Jan 08 2010 I'm going to say as far back as hail and alienation of essence from self onto deity.
But [MB]'s idea is original. The eaves could be like ammo belts.-- rcarty, Jan 08 2010 Hmm. Okay. I guess my idea is no less a chimera than mb's. It is a fountain as a sprinkler with printer logic and ballistics. The icicle machine gun with conveyance eaves which are reloaded by the weather makes mother nature an accomplice. You could just sit there firing the thing all year with no ammo. Then when icicles start flying out, it's not your fault. Hmmm.-- fishboner, Jan 08 2010 I like it for trees, hedges and cats. Not so much for mulched flower beds and gardens because the ballistic stream would dig a huge crater wherever it landed.-- bungston, Jan 08 2010 The purpose of the second turret was to break up torrents headed for soft mulch. But then I realized this could be addressed a number of different ways from the single nozzle (eg. Short bursts calculated to break up 7 feet before landing). An infrared beam and sensor could analyze the flightpath for breakup and send data to the ballistic computer to this end.-- fishboner, Jan 09 2010 I think as the distances to target grow longer, the impact of water being sprayed at faster rates would be damaging to one's posies.-- RayfordSteele, Jan 12 2010 random, halfbakery