Yesterday I saw an otherwise nice new car with fresh bird droppings across the window and roof. The impression was that a large passing bird had scored a bullseye with a double load of shit.

Idea: Large, removable, appliques in various patterns of slightly raised fake bird droppings molded in to be placed on windscreen, door, trunk lid, etc to create revulsion in the viewer to deter theft, touching or ever getting close. Such decals can be kept in a folder in console or glove box until needed.
-- whatrock, May 22 2020

Shit! https://www.redbubb...eshi/59004567.EJUG5
Indeed. [whatrock, Apr 25 2021]

Prior art Bird_20Poo_20Aerosol
From Wagster [whatrock, Jul 16 2023]

And here, sorta: Bike_20Beauty_20Bugs
[whatrock, Jul 16 2023]

Plastic Vomit https://www.bing.co...c+vomit&FORM=SHOPTB
[Voice, Jul 24 2023]

Or just put a pair of gloves in that glove box and then go out and steal cars at will?
-- blissmiss, May 22 2020


Valuable stuff bird droppings, good fertiliser that, good idea to deter it's theft.

[Reads beyond title]

Oh, I see, not that then.

[Pauses to think]

[Faint smell of burning solder]

[Sound of grinding gears & a little smoke from the ears]

Why not just use real bird droppings, saves the expense producing plastic molds.

You only have to apply it once too.

Left on & baked in the sun it should corrode the paint work under it.

Which should be just as effective as the bird poop after it gets washed off by the next rain.
-- Skewed, May 22 2020


Thinking further, the idea of applying (genuine or imitation) bird droppings to objects in order to deter theft is an idea with almost unlimitable potentiality.
-- pocmloc, May 22 2020


^ Quite so. I stopped short of trying to replicate the entire bird, a seed-stuffed sewn torso with silken wings askew, recycled-plastic beak and life-like legs jutting out at odd angles, having led a proper bird life but now lying embarrassingly upside down across the hood in a slick of the aforementioned, er, poop.

Hmm, might actually be a greater deterrent.
-- whatrock, May 22 2020


//Why not just use real bird droppings//

I once had an older car I should have taken better care of. Birds poo'd upon it and I ignored this. The poo ate through paint and primer and created rust.
-- Voice, May 22 2020


Precisely [Voice], you need only apply once ;D
-- Skewed, May 23 2020


Bird droppings are lame. Exterior deterrents are bearable. How about a lifelike steaming puddle of upchuck on the driver's seat? No risk to the paint job and you can leave the car unlocked. Add a little extra deterrent for the passenger side; bloody upchuck flowing down the door from the open window. And you can leave the car unlocked. Comes in Italian or Stir-fry, with its very own under seat tote bag. They may get your tires but they won't drive away.
-- minoradjustments, Jul 24 2023



random, halfbakery