This is a stupid idea, but..

A faux beard that makes the impact on a beardless face and a bearded one equal. Boxers and martial arts practitioners, especially from the Eastern Bloc, are wont to grow luxurious beards. These beards act as shock absorbers, weakening the blows of the beardless opponent.This is patently unfair, as if one of them had on protective headgear.

This disparity is addressed pre-fight, by the organization's cutman, who equalizes the contest by choosing the appropriate matching prosthetic beard for the beardless contestant.

Your choice of color...Red seems to be the winning choice.
-- minoradjustments, Oct 20 2024

Khamzat https://en.wikipedi...iki/Khamzat_Chimaev
This is a medium beard. There are far larger, fuller. [minoradjustments, Oct 20 2024]

Will it also match sideburns, or a mustache?
-- 21 Quest, Oct 20 2024


//the Eastern Bloc, are wont to grow luxurious beards.//

Wont to?... or not allowed to shave?
See, beards do not act as shock absorbers, they make the jawline harder to see and increase reaction time where the neck is involved in a fight.

Set up a mechanical punch and see if the impact is less on a bearded manikin than a non-bearded manikin.
They will be the same.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 20 2024


I wonder if punching a powdered beard is similar to riding a powdered horse.
-- 21 Quest, Oct 21 2024


Marked for tagline ...

"This is a stupid idea, but.."
-- normzone, Oct 21 2024


This does not address the problem of a pair of spitfire caterpillars concealed in the sideburns.
-- pertinax, Oct 21 2024


[2 fries] Since you have already decided that "They will be the same." without doing your own experiment, I offer this:

The force applied is not the same as the impact experienced. Shock is absorbed and dissipated over time, which markedly affects the damage. Blows to the jaw are notorious for turning off the opponent; the speed of the absorbed impact is crucial to the knockout.

Your experiment may prove that the applied force was equal in both cases but does not admit the value of "crumple zones" in cars or foam liners in helmets, or thick beards. The force of the car's impact is the same but is dealt with very differently. Concussive head contacts are less damaging, and perfectly placed hooks to the jaw will be slightly less lethal. It's an advantage that should be addressed.
-- minoradjustments, Oct 21 2024


//[2 fries] Since you have already decided that "They will be the same." without doing your own experiment//

I decided that they will be one and the same because... physics. A beard may add protection from skin tears and such but as a shock absorber, I'm pretty sure you will find facial hair ineffective.

I don't like crumple zones in automobiles. It implies that engineers have determined the minimum amount of strength needed to placate the masses. Programmed obsolecence and all that shit I hate.

Give me a 68 Chevy over anything modern any day.

I'll be able to drive away from our collision and you will be trying to determine whom to sue for your damages.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 22 2024


That's a fundamental misunderstanding of how modern crash structures work, but sure. Anyway, blame Reagan for rolling back the 5 mph bumper laws if you're worried about incidental damage.
-- 5th Earth, Oct 22 2024


I think we need to test the hypothesis that beards will be an inadequate shock absorber by Euro NCAPping cars with Chimaevian beards for bumpers. American cars can go through their local equivalent with Lincolnian chin pubes applied instead.
-- calum, Oct 22 2024


//That's a fundamental misunderstanding of how modern crash structures work, but sure.//

Am I mistaken in thinking that crumple zones are a direct result of trying to make vehicles lighter, and to determine the minimum possible cost of production?

//Anyway, blame Reagan for rolling back the 5 mph bumper laws if you're worried about incidental damage.//

I blame the Reagan administration for many things like the instant dismantling of the newly installed solar panels on the roof of the white house, and the unprecedented theft, in a single night mind you, of every single EV1 sold in the U.S.

I blame Obama for more than that. That fucker took away my rights to my own inventions so that I must now pay rather than publicly disclose to solidify date-of-origination of 'MY' own thoughts.

That was a bad move.
Karma is a bitch.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 23 2024


[2 fries] For the rematch between Usyk and Tyson (12/21/24) the Usyk camp required Tyson to trim his beard or forfeit the fight. Tyson had grown a Santa-esque structure that Usyk thought would impede his effectiveness.

Evidently the fighters themselves experience the moderating effects of facial hair and have made it a significant item of inequality.

All the more reason to use the Beard Leveler in questionable matchups.
-- minoradjustments, Dec 22 2024


Blows to the head should be forbidden, and grounds for disqualification.
-- pocmloc, Dec 22 2024



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