h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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instead of allowing footballers to stop play to drink water during a match, (the option is being proposed at the moment) they should be able to take a swig from a reservoir in the ball itself. optimum times to this would be during penalties, corner kicks, off-sides and the ball going out of play.
balls
would have to be changed as the reservoirs become drained and the water warms up but this could take place during natural play breaks as well.
soft dollops of sunscreen could be thrown at the players by nearby spectators.
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<you're in> a piss poor mood! |
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"We're back... there's 3 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Bears defense seems to be staggering on its feet, Bob." |
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"That's right, John. There's a theory circulating around the Bears sidelines that someone gave a new meaning to spiking the ball." |
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"We'll be right back after this commercial potty break, while both teams relieve themselves..." |
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You don't play football, do you? |
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The old pre-war footballs used to absorb large amounts of water during a game. My neighbour (who is 87) "remembers" jumping for a header and waking up on the touchline/in the dressing room/in the ambulance on several occasions. |
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Re [UnaBubba], an American baseballer named Moises Alou told the media last year (or the year before?) that he urinates on his hands prior to every game to harden them so he can get a better grip on the bat or somesuch. I wonder if his teammates ever field balls he's thrown anymore. |
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I would like to see this implemented, if only so that someone can pour absinthe into the balls and hilarity can thusly ensue. |
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