Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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vaccination flap

flap of skin to be infected and then removed
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A doctor would take skin samples from various areas of your body known to be easily infected, grow them in the lab, and then re-attach them to your body, preferably to your bellybutton as a flap of skin. The original idea was your foot, but it was pointed out that this might not be a good place for it.

It would wear its own sock to keep it separated from your body and it would have its own protocol for cleaning.

After it has healed on to your body, it would be infected with skin conditions that are hard to fight off, like herpes and warts.

Your body would be given enough time to build up an immune response, even though it might never be able to kill off the active infection on the flap of skin.

After a sufficient immune response is observed by your doctor, the skin flap would simply be snipped off, and the diseases would leave your body hopefully to never return.

madrabbit, Apr 12 2007

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       //hopefully//- I only have a problem with that bit.
wagster, Apr 12 2007
  

       skinflaps will be snipped off. he'll be cheered by that thought.
po, Apr 12 2007
  

       this sounds horrible
lilsis, Apr 12 2007
  

       Umm, this goes against the science I learned in high school biology.   

       1: Herpes and warts are hard to cure because they are viruses, and hide inside the host's own cells to reproduce. Immunity to the diseases is of little use, because the viruses needn't spend long enough outside a human cell to be killed by a white blood cell. Indeed, some viruses (AIDS for example) are nearly impossible to fight off because they do their work on the white blood cells.   

       2: Immunities rarely spread throughout the whole body in response to a localized problem.   

       3: Diseases that can cause much of an immune response usually do so by spreading to other parts of the body.   

       These potential MFD-Bad science issues aside...   

       I'm also concerned about the obvious hygiene problems that will be associated with attaching, and then removing diseased flaps of skin from people.   

       Flaps of skin in such apparently benign areas as the stomach, and breasts tend to accumulate a surprising amount of fungus. Feet, which naturally seem to do the same would strike me as a particularly bad place to put skinflaps.   

       I think skinflaps will agree that he does not really want to get stuffed in other people's shoes, even if he does get his own sock.
ye_river_xiv, Apr 12 2007
  

       Welcome [madrabbit], though it looks like your first posting is a bit fishy - not to worry. Your idea actually contains the kernal of a better, funnier notion ie socks for warts ! so your first croissant for that bit (+)
xenzag, Apr 12 2007
  

       In response to ye river xiv's comment of "Herpes and warts are hard to cure because they are viruses, and hide inside the host's own cells to reproduce. Immunity to the diseases is of little use, because the viruses needn't spend long enough outside a human cell to be killed by a white blood cell."   

       That is the point of this "vaccine". The body gets an infection the first time because it didn't have antibodies to it early on, but once it gets the disease and develops an immune response, it is too late because the virus has already found a home inside cells.   

       The purpose of this treatment is to give the immune system a free first chance to develop an immune response to these diseases. without the possibility of a permanent infection caused by the slow first time response (snip!)   

       As far as the fungus in the foot area goes, good point. I thought that the foot might be a nice place because you wouldn't mind a scar there, but maybe it could be hung out of your bellybutton.
madrabbit, Apr 12 2007
  

       If it's going in the tummybutton, we have to make it into a fashion accessory. Socks that are different colours to represent what's growing underneath them (striped versions for special herpes-smallpox fast-track vaccines).   

       And can they be pierced? Mmm, tummybutton skinflap piercings... they'll put people off tummybutton piercings once and for all...
cheesecake, Apr 13 2007
  

       Wouldn't work. Herpes doesn't live in your skin except during outbreaks: It lives in your spinal cord. This is why herpes is permanent. It stays in your nervous system where your immune system can't get to it.   

       As for warts -- this sounds like a reference to HPV. I don't know if it lies dormant somewhere besides the skin: if not, maybe this would work. But it wouldn't be necessary, as a vaccine (Gardasil) is on the market. Currently it's only given to girls before they've become sexually active, but there'd be no particular reason not to give it to boys (that I can see), except probably that such a policy would acknowledge that cervical and testicular cancers are STDs -- instead of pussyfooting around the fact, as is currently done by all the marketing I've seen.
TerranFury, Apr 14 2007
  
      
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