Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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tongue type e-mail

Wireless and screenless internet, cellphone, pager, TV, and Radio.
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wouldn't it be cool if you could just tap a spot on your upper body like your wrist in a certain code, and you could either use the internet, the phone, or the radio or TV, (and turn on and off individule features) anytime and anywhere? for a keybord you would have your teeth and upper back of your mouth. for a pointer you would have the inside four corners of your lips, and for a screen you would have the back of your eyelids. it would have to be set at infinity, of course so u could focus on it. and for the antenna you could have a little wire running under the skin above the hairline. The battery would be in your abdomin, probably where your appendix is now (or used to be) and would be rechargeable. you would have a little port in your side with a waterproof cover that you could recharge youself with. for a ring you could have, say three or four jolts of electricity deliverd to your hand or foot set at a variable intensity. with a tiny waterproof microphone set in your upper or lower lip then you could talk, and a tiny vibration creating mecanism would be set inside your inner ear to act as a speaker. probably would cost about $400,000 for the whole thing. I'd pay for it as long as it came with a lifetime guarantee and a double moneyback offer.
Cracked Helmut, Oct 30 2002

Tongue brainport http://www.sciencen.../20010901/bob14.asp
Before you go sticking displays to your eyelids... [omegatron, Jun 22 2005]

[link]






       I think it's a typo; (s)he meant "lounge type e-mail." Some sort of new type of e-mail one sends from a lounge.
snarfyguy, Oct 30 2002
  

       I'm baked as described
thumbwax, Oct 31 2002
  

       luge-type email... for those quick messages...
RayfordSteele, Oct 31 2002
  

       First, Ignore the spelling. This is not as far feched as you may think, with this limitation - when the system is installed there must be no penitration of the skin. Recharging of the batteries can be done by two coils (one just under the skin and one on the skin). I have no idea how you could use eyelids as a viewer but you could use a tiny transmitter (pick any location in the upper torso) and batery operated LCD glasses as a monitor, if you use both lenses you could even get 3d. Microswitches under the fingertips as a keyboard. A tiny rare earth magnet in the index finger and detector array between the abs and skin for a mouse pad (rub your belly to move the pointer). It could be done!
rsj9, Oct 31 2002
  

       [rsj9] - All that typing for nothing, (pointing to the deletion mark on the first annotation)   

       Anyway, its tinge type e-mail where your e-mails come out the other end a slightly odd colour.
MrKangaroo, Oct 31 2002
  

       Boy I wish I knew what you were talking about
rsj9, Oct 31 2002
  

       I believe Helmut's describing a cyborg system. Various, really tiny computer I/O devices placed subdermally (for the purpose of inconspicuousness, I think) in places where they can be manipulated/perceived (ie microphone in the ear, monitor in the eyelid, etc). Mostly for the purpose of telecommunications.   

       That said, I have to agree with Unabubba on the WIBCI. Computer parts and peripherals are still too big and inflexible to do this. On the plus side, there are already "cyborgs" running around, mostly in Canada, I think, with digital camera visors and the like. So, this'll probably be done as soon as its doable.   

       Personally, I'd rather my eyes shot lasers or something.
nick_n_uit, Nov 03 2002
  

       Would be a safe bet to say its baked then
MrKangaroo, Nov 04 2002
  

       You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
cameron, Nov 14 2002
  

       The cell phone is a shrill interrupter in a social setting, yes, but I am much more annoyed when I am waiting in a line at a store and the counterperson stops everything to answer the (conventional) phone.  Hey! I was in line first!  How come the person who hasn't made the effort to be there physically get priority?   

       Even so, as a society we are going to have to learn to come to terms with ubiquity of cell phones and, eventually, always-active communication adornaments and appliances in every facet of life.  They aren't going away and, increasingly, I feel the folks who get foamed up about them seem a bit foolish.
bristolz, Sep 07 2003
  

       I should be clearer. Regardless of whether it's a cell phone or conventional, the priority often given the phone over the live person is odd.   

       However, the railing against cell phone conversations in public, on the street or whatever, seems overblown and pointlessly hand-wringy.  
bristolz, Sep 07 2003
  

       It would be so friggin hard to type with your tongue...tongues really aren't very dexterious.
Face, Sep 07 2003
  

       Did you mean to use that obsolete 17th century word?
bristolz, Sep 07 2003
  

       I plan to build something like this. (Someday.)   

       Your proposed implementation is pretty silly, though.
omegatron, Jun 22 2005
  

       [rsj9] i think that the kneecap would be a better mousepad, at least when you are sitting down.
theperson10, Oct 23 2008
  
      
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