h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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It seems a shame that body piercings fitted with silver studs etc are not made better use of, rather than being merely decorative. If we were all fitted with a standardised range of studs in specific useful positions think how useful this could be. No need for spectacles - just hang predrilled lenses
on eyebrow studs. Fix hats onto head studs. Facemasks onto cheek studs. Condoms onto penis studs. Long socks onto knee studs. Dickiebows onto throat studs. Various items of clothing onto a standardised set of body studs. Babies bibs onto chin studs. Useful for nudists of course for displaying nametags at conferences.
[link]
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(Surely this must have been mentioned somewhere already? Tell me where and I'll shift this piece there) |
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What's wrong with the current system again? |
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The current system requires all sorts of straps and loops and elastic and perfectly-fitting bands. We've gotten used to it after millennia of wearing clothes, but little hard-points would indeed be useful. |
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Unfortunately, as currently implemented, "piercings" can't hold much weight; they go through a small amount of outer flesh. These studs should be drilled into the bone. |
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Some surgical wiring looks really ornamental, just the way stitching intercalates. Most folks just complain to no end about a perfectly done bit of spinal repair or knee repair that shows you only a millimeter of scar. Others have attention-grabbing masses of horny flesh or rows of spiny protrusions to sport as a testimony of their suffering. If a small bit of this work could be exposed to boost someone's self esteem -- do it! |
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Hmm, I didn't like the idea at first, but then I thought about it for a while. You could definitely have some use out of these, but you'd also need some sort of way to cover them (if these are the way I imagine them to be) so you don't "snag" things with them. Unless you like going through several bed mattresses a month.
Custom made products for different studs would be nice, no more need for a backpack since there'd be a place for everything already, and shoes could be made in an entirely different fashion...
But I fear the negative may outweigh the positive...Nevertheless, I give you a croissant. |
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Females could have 'innie' studs & males could have 'outie' studs. When naked, couples could clip themselves together to get a bit of extra purchase for those especially tricky positions. |
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"condoms onto penis studs" |
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what? you have a problem with condoms falling off |
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methinks the problem isn't with the condom . . . |
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Peter, is
*A Farrago Of Calumnies* an anagram? |
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po, It's an anagram of "I'm Alan Frog-Arse, F.U." (But that leaves a C,O, and A left over, so perhaps not). |
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PG - swap you a K for an A & O |
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//Condoms onto penis studs.//
//These studs should be drilled into the bone.// |
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well, the penis has no bones (feels wierd typing that), though admittedly it can be a bone, but then we're using language more figuratively (go figure) [boned? boning? bonehead? bone up on that?] |
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still, studs affixed to the pelvic bones would facilitate accessories - the "strap-on" would become a "bolt-on" |
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and if the studs are all standardized (ISO standard body studs - not just for grannies [this is getting sick]) then the accessories could lead to possibilities currently limited by anatomy |
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imagine nose penii, or polypenii attached to elbows, knees, etc [I know, "penii" probably isn't proper, but I like it, especially when you consider that the letter "i" is kind of phallic, and the plural uses 2 of them, which is somehow morphological onomotopoeia] |
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ok I've gotta stop - med time |
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[[morphological onomotopoeia --> typogrophopoeia ??]] |
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Rather than studs, why not go for magnets or (everyone's fave) Velcro™? At least this way the adhesive thingy will lie flush with the skin. |
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[waugs] Say, will you look at that... Guess I should've thrown a ™ after magnets, too. My apologies. |
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I'd forgotten this one, looked again thinking it was an idea for keeping your man from straying |
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Peter, thank you for the link - I did not have a fortnight to look for a word that resembled 'UnaBubba'| — | po,
Nov 03 2001, last modified Nov 04 2001 |
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If this idea went through, all those metal detectors would have to get scrapped. Everyone would beep. Maybe the studs could be of a ceramic material. |
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Another thing, wouldn't it be very painful if you were walking and, let's say, your backpack (which I'm guessing would be attached to some studs) got stuck somewhere? I'm thinking ripped studs would be quite common. Ouch (-) |
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