stinking badges

Coronavirus is airborne. To reduce transmission, it's vital to ventilate spaces so plauge bearers' lingering viral breath can't make its way into your lungs. But how to tell? Air, after all, is invisible. And what to do about people who can't grasp the concept that a face mask needs to cover the nose to be of any use?

Enter the Stinking Badges. Intended for use by workplaces that can't shut down, Stinking Badges are simply little plastic scent diffusers that clip to your clothes or an ID card and emit an unpleasant smell. They can be refreshed after each shift with Dippel's oil or some other suitable chemical. (Cowards can opt for the Freakishly Strong Spearmint version instead.) Thus, each human is surrounded by air that becomes unpleasant to breathe, but not so unpleasant as breathing through Covid-filled lungs.

Employees are protected from the smell of their own Stinking Badge by their mask, if they are wearing it correctly (and the badge is a constant inducement to do so). Concentrations of smell strong enough to make it through masks are a discernable, if still invisible, indicator that someone needs to open all the windows and turn on all the vent fans.