h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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rare steak
Readout All Requirements Eatery - Supervised Thermocouples Every Aspect Kludged | |
Having just left the idea linked below, I see a niche market for the most discerning of steak aficionados.
In this dining establishment, your steak of choice is pre-loaded before cooking with wireless thermocouples and internal video cameras at precisely defined layers and locations.
Prices reflect
not only the cut and weight of the steak but also the amount of thermocouples and cameras required to be able to appropriately monitor the meat.
Your server offers you a range of cooking profiles that define both the sear factor of the outer layer and the pink factor of the inner. The allowable tolerance deviations are noted in bold print on the menu - unrealistic expectations of process capability are anticipated and discouraged.
Your cooking profile is communicated to the chef, and the thermocouple profiles and camera-communicated color are monitored throughout the cooking process.
For an additional fee, the readouts and video while the food is cooking is available on a laptop at your table.
When your food is ready the readouts of the monitoring devices are printed out alongside the numbers comprising the nominal profile request and delivered with your meal.
Any deviation outside of the posted allowed tolerance zone is noted, and you have the option of having your bill discounted or free drinks.
Of course, you waive all rights to sue in the case of a thermocouple or camera accidentally being left in your meal.
With thanks to [toipet] and [csea]
Steak_20Compass
[normzone, May 08 2009]
I had to look up "Rosetta Roll" -
http://www.speediba...llection/lunch.html
I was certain it was going to be a halfbaked invention that was the key to understanding other rolls... [normzone, May 10 2009]
Not prior art - post art. Or something...
http://theworstthin...illing-thermometer/
...from the worst things for sale... [normzone, Sep 26 2014]
It's baked now - the sensor communicates with your phone
https://meater.com/...c&utm_source=reddit
I was just a few years early [normzone, Jan 08 2022]
[link]
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//unrealistic expectations of process capability are anticipated and discouraged.// |
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customer: I'll have mine rare on one side, medium well on the other and well done in the center. |
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We could deliver that, with an insertable heat source, but there will be an additional charge. |
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//the readouts and video while the food is cooking is available on a laptop at your table// |
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I like this. Is there a name for the law that says your steak will be delivered to your table 2 minutes after nipping out for a cigarette? |
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I'm going to have to line an economical supplier of insertables - we're going to go through a lot of them. |
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And it will be a restaurant with an IT guy ;-) |
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Does that include "Take the horns off, wipe its ass, and put it on a plate, Horseradish that clears the mucus and leads you to discover new parts of your sinuses, Coke and Chips"? |
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If so, [+], oh, and a Rosetta Roll, please - better make it 2, actually |
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I've heard that recipe called for in truck stops - those colorful outposts of civilization. |
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[normzone,linky] Yes, the one I meant allows you to translate between up to 3 known, and one unknown bready-snack form |
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It is refreshing to know I'm not the only one that gets bent out of shape when a steak, ordered medium rare, is served rare (or medium, for that matter). This idea is technologically sound, yet seems, as all technology does, to undermine the true craftsmen of their respective fields. |
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[+] served cooked to your preference (more or less). |
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Steak for people with too much money and not enough sense to fire up the backyard grill, then? |
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Sure, sounds OK. More charcoal for me. |
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Yeah. I don't order steak out, because I like my own cooking better than anything I've ordered so far. |
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Needless churn for self serving purposes. |
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//Your cooking profile is communicated to the chef// |
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Sp.: technician. Chefs only exist in Europe. |
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I know a Japanese sushi chef who would chop that
idea and serve it on rice [Max] |
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//sushi chef// But chefs are supposed to prepare food! |
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//I know a Japanese sushi chef who would chop that
idea and serve it on rice [Max]// |
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Yep. That's why he's a sushi chef. |
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I see that the title has been found appropriate for editing, regardless of it having been an initialism of the idea's summary. Possibly a consequence of my churning it to follow another title similarly formatted. |
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Five and a half year dwell time for that title, must not have been too offensive. |
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Either that or there's simply that much backlog. |
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Is there a way to raster cook, with beams of constructive wave energy at a points along the scan. This would print the perfect desired heat at every point in the steak. A gamma scalpel oven, so to speak. I don't think microwaves would apply because aren't microwaves quite spatially fat and inaccurate? |
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A few passes might be needed for perfection. |
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Well, yes. Your problem there is the RF frequency is set by the O-H
dipole moment, and gives a wavelength of 122mm. |
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Having said that, constructive interference from a number of phased
array emitters might achieve suitably localised heating. |
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Gamma radiation is too energetic and will cause ionization, breaking
down the molecules rather than just heating them. |
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It may be necessary to design a chamber with a fixed pinpoint focus,
then physically manipulate the target to achieve the desired localised
heating. |
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//Of course, you waive all rights to sue in the case of a
thermocouple or camera accidentally being left in your
meal// |
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Extended service for adventurous or merely inquisitive
(some may say 'curious', mostly because it's politer than flat
out calling them weird) customer includes leaving all
thermocouples and cameras in situ & displaying the video
feed & readouts on the big screen over the bar, for the
super extended service the video & data is forwarded to
your smart phone so you can enjoy observing the meats
digestion & journey through your alimentary canal & final
egress from your sphincter. |
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Additional sensors & doodads to facilitate
an even more complete picture of events optional. |
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//I was just a few years early// |
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Or they got the idea from you, there's always the chance
someone actually reads this stuff you know. |
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