public cellphone dummies

Like many folks, I tend to find others' public cellphone conversations more annoying than non-cellphone conversations around the same volume level. This puzzles me greatly, as the actual level of second-hand noise from the cellphone gabbing may be roughly half that of the 'fully present' conversation. My theory is that bystanders feel inherently excluded from others' phone conversations, but still feel some noise intrusion, and thus feel resentful.

To ease the public anti-cellphone backlash then, why not borrow a page from the carpool dummy playbook: install friendly looking, small human-sized dummies -- of sundry shapes/colors &c. -- on subway cars and in other public gathering spots. These dummies would have slots for inserting a 1/8" jack-equipped cellphone, thereby establishing an amplified speakerphone connection, so the conversation would be more accessible to bystanders. Courteous cellphoners could use the dummies and, in doing so, accrue small discounts on transit/phone service &c.

Enterprising pranksters, of course, could stash connected cellphones in disparate dummies, who would then appear to murmur schizophrenically to anyone present, eventually provoking a multi-car feedback of bystander wrath...