h a l f b a k e r yThe Out-of-Focus Group.
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you have a button on your phone that engages the autopilot. this is a simple set of pre-recorded utterances like "oh yes", "hmm no", "uh-ha", "really?" etc. which play when the caller/mother/relative/inlaw etc pauses giving the illusion that you are still listening.
from time to time you can come
back to the phone and pick-up from the autopilot as you wish.
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S'that right...uh huh. I guess so. |
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I could use this to have phone sex with myself! I mean, *somebody* could use this to have fone sex with *their*selves... |
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I remember reading about gadgets just like this, both hardware and software based. They were designed for someone starting up a small business in their home, who wanted to make it appear that the business was larger and better established than it was. |
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So for instance you could press a button to have your virtual receptionist answer the call with a standard greeting. Through the speaker you hear the caller respond. When the caller asks for you press another button that says "Certainly, I'll connect you" and then you pick up. |
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Maybe three buttons. One for mildly positive twaddle: Really?...great......oh wow!.
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One for vaguely negative moping: Oh dear.....awwwwwww........never mind......poor you.
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And one for mother/dad/gran marathon, pointless Sunday earbending :..Uh Huh.....yep I'm still here..........yep still listening......y'don't say.......look I'll have t........yep........look, I really have to go... yes right.......there's someone at the door.. |
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I find that if you unscrew the arial, you can fake digital breakup. It works best if you do it while you're talking. |
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Now if only I could get the phone to do it automatically... |
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If you have a Chatterbot (A program which responds like a person) then you could Just program it to Be you! (and respond to anyone who calls) add voice recognition and synthisis and most people would use the ansering machine, (Because it knows all you know). |
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